A Baby and a Bench
by Psi Fi
Summary: Sportacus has a rather strange encounter with Robbie.
1. Chapter 1

Sportacus flipped his way down the streets of LazyTown. The children were in school, so he had some free time on his hands. The empty streets were a bit lonely, with all the people going about their daily tasks. Still, it was a good time to get some practice in and LazyTown was becoming more and more beautiful, now that all the citizens were taking better care of her. There were flowers in window sills and everything was shiny and clean. Flipping through the shopping district, because even heroes like to window shop, Sportacus saw Robbie Rotten, sitting alone on a bench.

"Good morning, Robbie!" Sportacus called out, as he ran by.

Robbie didn't answer, but Sportacus was used to that. Robbie was usually too busy scheming or sleeping to respond to greetings. A few yards later, Sportacus realized that today, though, something had been different. Surely he hadn't really seen that? Flipping back again, Sportacus stopped a few feet away from Robbie and stared. He had seen that.

Robbie was cradling a tiny baby in a blanket in his arms, a warm smile looking out of place on his face. Sportacus watched, as Robbie leaned forward and blew a soft raspberry against the baby's cheek. The baby laughed, waving it's hands, happily. Robbie laughed, too, gently bouncing the tiny child.

"Robbie?" Sportacus said, moving a bit closer. "You have a baby?!"

Robbie looked up in surprise, then looked from Sportacus to the baby, back, and again, his nose twitching in confusion.

"In...my arms, yes?" Robbie agreed, hesitantly, before shaking his head decisively. "It's not _my_ baby, Sportaloon! This is Tricky's little sister."

"Oh, yes!" Sportacus agreed, sitting next to Robbie on his bench. "Little Jenny!"

"Sure, whatever," Robbie agreed indifferently, before turning his attention back to the child. "Is that your name, little one? Huh? Just look at you. Janie, Jeannie, Jenny, you're too young to care, anyways. Look at that tiny little nose, wrinkling all up! Is that a smile? Are you practicing smiling? Yes, that's a good girl."

Sportacus sat stunned. Robbie with a baby was just strange. Sportacus had thought Robbie held all children in contempt, but evidently not. He watched the self-proclaimed town villain tickling the baby under her chin, drawing out squeaky little laughs and cooing playfully.

"I found that tickle spot!" Robbie crowed, softly, chuckling. "Are you trying to get me, waving those little hands around? Look at those fingers. They're so tiny! What can you grip with those?"

The baby managed to latch her hand around one of Robbie's fingers, as he waved them at her. Sportacus laughed.

"Well, she caught something!"

Robbie spared Sportacus a brief glance, shrugging.

"Okay, you got me...or you got my finger. Yay. What are you going to do? Slobber all over it? Go ahead, then," Robbie offered, as the baby did just that. "Yuck-o, kid. That can't taste good. I hope I got all the grease off."

"Um, Robbie? I do have to ask. Why do you have Trixie's little sister?"

"If you must know, Sportaflop, her mother is shopping and the shops are a bit too cold. The kid's apparently been fighting a cold. Those nasty little sniffles have been bothering the little lady, yes," Robbie crooned.

"And, she left her baby with you?" Sportacus asked, skeptically, with only a hint of apology for it.

"What? Are you jealous?" Robbie asked derisively, then rolled his eyes. "Fine. You can hold her."

Sportacus scooted an inch or two away, ending up on the far end of the bench.

"Ah, no! No, thank you, Robbie. If Mrs. Troubleby asked you to watch her, then that's fine."

Robbie's smile turned predatory.

"Why, Sportacus! Don't you _like_ babies?"

"I think babies are wonderful!" Sportacus said, defensively.

"Well, come here, then. If you get your way, you'll be teaching her baseball someday!"

"Robbie, no. I-I need to be free, if my crystal goes off."

"Uh huh. Admit it! You're afraid of babies!" Robbie gloated.

Sportacus glared, then sighed in defeat, nodding.

"All right, yes. I am. They're so small and soft!"

"Okay. So?" Robbie asked impatiently. "You're fine with small children. She's not that much smaller than Candy Boy."

"Ziggy," Sportacus corrected sternly. "The thing is, though...Ziggy can talk. If I squeeze a bit too hard, he can tell me."

"Well, that's what you get for being a muscle-bound Sportajock. Seriously, though, if you're going to be a hero, then you better know how to help and handle babies. What are you going to do? Send someone else in, if one gets in trouble?"

Sportacus gave a sigh, shaking his head.

"You're right."

"Of course. Now, come on. Come here," Robbie coaxed, patting the bench right next to his own leg.

"What are you getting out of this?" Sportacus asked, obeying.

"Seeing you squirm. What else? Now, hold your arm in an el, close to your chest. I'll let you know, if you're doing anything wrong."

Sportacus rolled his eyes, both amused and annoyed.

"What if I..."

"It's not that hard, Sportadork! Just support her head and her butt and don't let go."

Sportacus placed his arm into position. He couldn't help tensing, when Robbie placed Jenny in the crook of his arm. Robbie smirked, shaking his head and adjusting Sportacus' arm and hand.

"There. See? Now just place your other hand over her or around her side."

"Robbie," Sportacus said, not sure he had the baby held securely, but afraid to tighten his grip.

"I'm right here. Come on, relax. I won't let you drop her. You can hold her a bit tighter than that! She's not an _egg_."

"She's fragile!"

"She's also resilient and flexible. Besides, there's this thing called crying. If you really do squeeze a bit too tight, she _can_ protest."

"But, then she'll be hurt!" Sportacus protested, alarmed.

"No, she'll be mad and fussy, but she'll complain long before she's injured."

Robbie scooted closer, until his side was pressed up against Sportacus, leaning in to the child. Sportacus blushed, as the other man's warmth penetrated into his side. He hoped Robbie mistook the reaction for frustration or annoyance. It didn't help, when Robbie wiggled around, finding a comfortable position that let him see the baby, too.

"See? You're doing it. She's happy enough. Now, try actually smiling and talking to her."

"Uh, okay!" Sportacus agreed, a new determination in his voice. "Hello, Jenny! I'm Sportacus."

Robbie stared at him, incredulous, shaking his head.

"I hope you're not waiting for her to reply."

"I know she can't talk yet," Sportacus said, dryly. "I didn't say I didn't know anything about babies!"

"Okay! So, quit trying to have a one-sided conversation with her and just let her get used to the sound of your voice."

"Why do you know so much about babies?"

"My little brother is five years younger than me," Robbie said, flatly. "Now, talk to her, not me."

Sportacus thought that was a rather strange demand, from someone who had almost squirmed his way into Sportacus' lap. He didn't protest, though. As he turned his attention back to Jenny, she gave a long yawn. Sportacus grinned.

"Naps are very important for small children..."

"DON'T LECTURE HER, SPORTACLOWN!" Robbie objected, a growl entering his voice.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry!" Sportacus said, laughing. "You said to let her get used to my voice."

"I didn't mean like that," Robbie groaned, letting his head fall. It almost landed on Sportacus' shoulder, but Robbie caught himself at the last minute and tilted his head to the back of the bench.

"I don't know what to say!"

"Tell her she's adorable. Hum a lullaby. Anything that doesn't require her to talk back and isn't part of your hero agenda."

"Lullaby? I can do that!"

Robbie rolled his eyes, but sat back up, when Sportacus began softly humming, then singing. He was surprised at how good the elf's voice was. He was less surprised at how gentle and kind Sportacus sounded. As the soft song filled the air, Robbie found himself yawning and, again, having to concentrate to keep from curling up on Sportacus. Once Jenny was asleep, Sportacus stopped and turned back to his sleepy nemesis.

"Why do you need so much sleep? A good night's sleep should leave you full of energy for the day!"

Robbie arched an eyebrow at him.

"How wonderful for those who get a good night's sleep," he retorted, then looked away shiftily.

Sportacus frowned at Robbie's inadvertent confession.

"Why don't you sleep at night?"

"I'm cursed," Robbie said with blunt sarcasm, earning another eye roll from Sportacus.

"So, how did you end up baby-sitting? It doesn't seem like something you would enjoy."

"I've baby-sat almost every kid in this town, at one time or another. Usually, I just end up watching them, when their moms are shopping."

"But, you don't like kids."

"No, I don't like _noise_ ," Robbie corrected. "I like kids a lot, when they're being good and quiet and not waking me up from naps."

"Babies can be pretty loud."

"Sure. Babies, though, usually, _usually_ quit making a lot of noise, if you give them what they want or need. Keep them clean and dry, well-fed, and warm and voila! You have a happy, quiet child!"

"But, if they make noise, play, and have fun, then they're brats," Sportacus said, unable to hide his disapproval.

"Exactly!"

"And, you don't like me, because I encourage them to have fun and be healthy."

"I would argue that being healthy and having fun are exactly opposite things," Robbie said, amused.

"They aren't!"

"Nevertheless, I had the life I wanted, before you came."

Grimacing, Sportacus nodded, looking away from Robbie, at the shops across the street. Robbie studied him, then continued in a softer tone.

"You're kind of like the kids, in that way. I don't so much dislike _you_ , just...the effect you have on my life. I want some peace and quiet and I'll never get that with you around."

"It's peaceful, sometimes."

"Sportacus. I went to the _moon_ to get away from the noise," Robbie reminded him. "And it _followed_ me."

"That...they didn't mean to," Sportacus said, sighing.

"That doesn't make it any less irritating."

Robbie gently shifted Jenny from Sportacus' arms to his own, cradling her close. The men were silent for a few moments. Sportacus began doing stretches, reaching down to touch his toes. Robbie watched him, head tilted.

"What does it matter?"

"Pardon?"

"Whether I like you or not...what does it matter?"

Sportacus froze for a brief second, before continuing his stretches.

"I want you to like me."

"Yes, but why?"

Sportacus looked up in surprise, a puzzled frown wrinkling his brow.

"I like you."

"Heroes aren't supposed to like villains."

Sportacus laughed, shaking his head.

"Villains aren't supposed to follow rules," he countered, grinning.

"Fair point," Robbie conceded, chuckling.

"I really do want to be your friend, Robbie."

"Yes, well. That's part of the problem."

"Sorry?"

"You have, more than once, offered to be _my_ friend. You have, however, never asked _me_ to be _your_ friend."

"I don't understand what you mean. I want us to be friends!"

"No, no. Those things are not the same. Asking for my friendship or for us to be friends suggests _mutual_ benefit. Offering your friendship implies you're doing me a favor or want to give me something I can't get myself."

"What?! Robbie, I didn't mean that at all!" Sportacus protested, horrified.

"No?"

"No! How does your mind even come up with such things?"

"I'm a genius."

Sportacus huffed in annoyance, staring at Robbie in wonder.

"That doesn't make it seem like a lot of fun!"

"Well. Everything has its downside. On the other hand, I come up with excellent schemes, am a brilliant inventor, and can disguise myself as practically anyone or anything."

"Yes, you can," Sportacus agreed, chuckling helplessly.

"No more talking, for now," Robbie ordered, staring down the street.

Sportacus followed his gaze and saw Mrs. Troubleby coming down the street, pushing a stroller, with some groceries tucked in the back. She stopped at the bench, staring down in surprise.

"Well, hello, Sportacus," she said.

"Hello, Mrs. Troubleby. Robbie was just introducing me to Jenny."

"Oh, that's nice of him," she said, ignoring Robbie's grimace. Mrs. Troubleby reached into a bag and pulled out a large, chocolate cake, with crushed Oreos over vanilla frosting from the local bakery. She set it down on the small bit of space between Robbie and the edge of the bench. "Here you are, Robbie. Thank you for watching Jenny for me."

"You're welcome," Robbie said, handing Jenny back over, with a bit of reluctance.

"Oh, there's my good girl," Mrs. Troubleby said, giving her a brief cuddle, before strapping her into the stroller. "Have a good day, you two."

"Uh huh," Robbie said, disinterested.

"Good-bye!" Sportacus replied at the same time, cheerfully.

Robbie gave a sigh of contentment, lifting the cake onto his lap and eyeing it greedily.

"Are you always paid in cake?"

"Or cookies or cupcakes. Surely, you agree it's polite to make some small gesture of thanks?"

"Of course. Can we talk again now?"

"I have cake. _You_ have about ten seconds to come up with something good."

"Can we please be friends? To each other?"

"Hm. Are you going to expect me to eat sportscandy, stay awake all the time, and play sports?"

"No! I can't promise to never give advice, but you're an adult. You make your own decisions."

"Right! And, now, I decide I'm going to eat cake. We can be friends later, whatever that involves."

"Are you going to eat all of that?"

Robbie gently booped Sportacus' nose.

"You're just jealous that you can't have any."

"I'm really not," Sportacus assured him, dryly.

"Well, you should be!" Robbie insisted, then looked a bit sad. "A life with no cake. That's tragic. I might have to invent a cake that won't give you meltdowns."

"I certainly would appreciate that more than sugar apples."

"I've eaten those. They're delicious."

"I...didn't actually want to know that."

"Too late, now. And, your ten seconds is up," Robbie announced, standing up with his cake tucked under his arm. "See you later, Sporty."

"Bye, Robbie," Sportacus replied, smiling.

Leaping up, Sportacus threw himself into a series of joy-fueled flips. Robbie had agreed to be friends! A wonderful warmth filled his chest, bubbling up to his throat and becoming laughter. He paused, considering. If Robbie was going to make a special cake for him, maybe Sportacus could find a way to help Robbie nap, without making the kids lazy! Most importantly, now that they were friends, Sportacus could start trying to win Robbie's love.

This should be fun.


	2. Shop 'til You Drop!

"Robbie! Hello!"

Robbie suppressed a flinch of surprise, turning around. Shaking his head in disbelief, Robbie watched Sportacus cartwheel towards him. Once the hero was upright and still enough to notice, Robbie rolled his eyes at him.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Robbie complained. "You're not supposed to do things like that _here_."

"Why not?" Sportacus argued, grinning. "The aisles are plenty wide enough and there was no one in my path."

"One Stop _Shop_ is a store, not a gymnasium."

"Obeying rules again? You'll lose your villain cred," Sportacus teased.

"HA! It'll take more than that to knock me down from villain number ONE!" Robbie crowed, crossing his arms over his chest in pride. After a moment, he shoulders sank down and a puzzled frown took over his entire face. "What are you doing shopping in a store, anyways?"

"I don't just eat raw sportscandy. I need to buy things like bread, eggs, meat, milk..."

"Okay, okay, I don't need your entire shopping list, Sportadork!"

Sportacus laughed, shrugging, and said, "Okay, what are you buying?"

"Nothing that won't make you cringe," Robbie promised, smirking. "Where's your shopping basket?"

Sportacus removed the cloth shopping bag that hung diagonally across his shoulder and chest. He waved it at Robbie, sternly.

"This is much better for the environment, than plastic bags."

"You'd be surprised what you can do with a plastic bag."

"True, but I wouldn't be surprised by what _you_ can do with one," Sportacus countered, with a fond grin.

"Very smooth," Robbie praised, dryly. "Well come on then."

"All right!" Sportacus agreed far more cheerfully than necessary, in Robbie's opinion. "Where to first?"

"Dairy, since we both need milk and eggs," Robbie said, pushing his shopping cart towards the cold section.

"I'm not cringing," Sportacus teased, grinning.

Robbie stopped and looked him dead in the eye, smiling maliciously.

"Only because you don't know what I'm going to _do_ with them, Sporta-oblivious."

"Make a cake?" Sportacus asked, mischievously.

"Sure, good guess, Sporta-obvious, but there's cake and then there's **cake** ," Robbie assured him. "I'm going to make a fudgy coffee chocolate cake with white chocolate buttercream filling and caramel toffee crunch frosting."

Sportacus looked at him with awed dismay.

"I hope that tastes wonderful, because that has no nutrition at all."

"Nonsense. There's plenty of calcium and those anti-oxidant thingies," Robbie offered, playfully. "Y'know. In all that yummy chocolate."

Sportacus started to nod, still staring, then shook his head.

"Y'know," he tried, "zucchini and carrots can add a very nice moisture to cakes, I've heard."

"Zuch? Zuchni?" Robbie said, trying to sound out the strange word.

"Zu-cchi-ni, Robbie!" Sportacus said, mildly scolding. "It's a type of squash!"

"It's squashed? Gross," Robbie said dismissively, watching in amusement, as Sportacus began juggling eggs.

"Sir, could you please not do that? I'm sure you're a good juggler, but if one drops, you'll create a huge mess that someone could slip in," a friendly voice asked.

Sportacus caught the eggs and turned to see a young man in a dark slacks and a bright, white shirt, his expression friendly, but firm. Smiling warmly, Sportacus nodded. A name badge on his chest said both manager and Larry.

"I'm sorry, Larry. I promise I won't make a mess or let anyone get hurt," Sportacus assured him.

Larry nodded, heading back to his work. Robbie laughed, clutching his sides.

"Right, continuing on," he told Sportacus. "Come on. Put your stuff in the cart."

Sportacus set his eggs down, grabbing a couple of gallons of the milk Robbie seemed to have forgotten. He got them in the cart, just before Robbie grabbed his wrist and began trying to drag him down the aisle, struggling to control the cart with his other hand. Sportacus gently pulled his wrist free.

"I'm coming," Sportacus said, laughing. "Just be careful with the cart."

"What are you talking about?! I'm _always_ careful!" Robbie boasted, turning the cart sharply into the next aisle and nearly ramming it into a display, handing on the side of the shelves. Sportacus winced a bit, but chose not to argue. He sighed, though, at the aisle's contents. Chips and other salty snacks were prominently displayed.

"Oh, cheer up," Robbie told him, grabbing a large bag of cheese puffs. "This is a _fun_ aisle."

"Those look like packing peanuts," Sportacus said, with a bit of disdain.

"WHAT?! They do no...okay, they do. So what? They taste great! These are white cheddar flavored," Robbie said, holding the bag out to give Sportacus a good look. "What could you possibly have against cheese and a bit of cornmeal, huh? And they're puffed, so I think they're baked and not fried. What more can you ask for?"

"Vitamins," Sportacus retorted, with a sigh, looking around for _anything_ that might be remotely nutritious, his concern for the residents of Lazy Town increasing by the moment.

"Sounds fake. Gotta watch out for those additives," Robbie lamented mockingly.

"Funny, Robbie," Sportacus said dryly.

"Ooo, here's something for you!" Robbie announced, grabbing a white bag off a shelf. "Vegetopia!"

Sportacus walked closer to Robbie, peering down at the bag. A tomato, a carrot, a beet, and a green blob, spinach maybe, danced on the front. A bright purple scrawl announced Vegetopia above them. Sportacus laughed, holding his hand out.

"I don't think so!"

"Aw, give them a chance!" Robbie teased, turning the bag over. "Let's see now. These have potato flour, potato starch. Huh, stuff I like, not you. Ah, here's the yucky stuff: spinach powder, beetroot powder, tomato paste, dehydrated carrots...good news, Sporty! There's no sugar in here, at all!"

"That sounds terrible, Robbie!"

"We're buying them," Robbie decided, throwing them in the basket, while Sportacus looked on in disbelief.

"What? Why?"

"One of us is bound to like them. They'll either taste like potato chips, in which case I'll eat them. OR, they'll taste like your sportscandy and you can eat them."

"Robbie, sportscandy is not a powder!"

"Sportanerd...if they left the moisture in the chips, they wouldn't be crunchy and would have a short shelf life!"

"What if neither of us likes them?"

"Then, we'll give them to the kids."

Sportacus sighed, shaking his head, but not arguing further. He followed Robbie through the aisle, listening to him whistle "You are a Pirate." The baking aisle was next. He couldn't watch. Sportacus turned away, as Robbie began loading the cart with things to make his cake. He wasn't sure if Robbie didn't know how damaging those foods could be or if he just didn't care. Worrying wasn't going to help, so Sportacus distracted himself by walking up and down the aisle on his hands. He did a triple flip at each end of the aisle. He had just landed back on his hands, when he heard someone harshly clearing their throat. Sportacus flipped onto his feet, turning to see who it was.

Larry stood just outside the aisle, his hands on his hips and a stern expression on his face.

"Hello, again, Larry!" Sportacus said, giving a charming smile, but Henry sighed.

"Look, Mr. Sportacus, I know you're a great athlete, but you can _not_ do that in here! You _could_ fall. It's potentially dangerous, no matter how skilled you are. This just is not the place."

Sportacus frowned, shuffling his feet. He couldn't argue. Rules were in place for a reason and, as a hero, he knew that. He stared away for a moment, then nodded, smiling contritely.

"I am very sorry, Larry. You're right. I'll be more careful and follow all the rules!" Sportacus promised.

"Thank you," Larry said, relieved, before turning and walking away.

Sportacus turned back to Robbie, expecting to find the villain laughing. Instead, Robbie had his arms crossed over his chest and was scowling after Larry.

"Mehmeh memuh mehmuh _meh_ ," Robbie mutterd, mockingly. "Stuck up prig!"

"Robbie, he was doing his job," Sportacus corrected gently. "You said yourself I shouldn't do that here."

"You're listening to me again. I'm not sure if I should be flattered or frightened," Robbie said, with a dramatic sigh, his nose twitching in agitation. "You've been in Lazy Town for years now. You've never been in an accident that I didn't cause."

"I'm not perfect. I'm just as capable of making a mistake as anyone else," Sportacus insisted, ignoring Robbie's derisive bark of laughter. "Where to next? I still need bread and tea."

"Yeah, yeah, bread aisle, coming up," Robbie conceded, grumpily.

Sportacus followed, grinning. He picked out a loaf of multi-grain bread, watching as Robbie piled white bread, bagels, and snack cakes into the cart.

"'Obbie! 'Obbie!" a tiny voice piped, eagerly.

Sportacus turned to see a very small child, not even two, running clumsily towards Robbie, his hands out-stretched.

"Well, look who it is," Robbie drawled, crossing his arms over his chest, though his lips quirked in amusement. "Well, what do you want?"

"Candy!" the boy answered, pointing to Robbie and making grabbing motions, with his hands.

"Oh, all right. Come here," Robbie said, picking the boy up.

"Who is this?" Sportacus asked, confused. "I don't think I've seen him before."

"Why would you? He's an only child, too young, and his parents aren't accident prone."

"'Obbie! Caaandy," the boy whined.

"Yes, yes, here!" Robbie said, handing the boy some chewy caramels.

"Robbie! Shouldn't you ask his mother, if he can have that?"

"Certainly not. If I don't ask, she can't say no, which makes the answer YES."

"What's your name?" Sportacus asked the boy, choosing to ignore Robbie's villainous philosophy.

The boy didn't answer, resting his head on Robbie's shoulder.

"He's Danny. He's kind of hit a shy stage."

"Do you know every child in town?"

"By sight and name, at the least," Robbie agreed. "The adults, too."

"Ah, I see you found my grandchild," a cold voice interrupted.

"EEp!" Robbie gulped, starting violently, holding Danny away from the approaching male. "Who is _THAT_?!"

A tall man with a comb-over strode up to them, frowning, followed swiftly by a woman in her twenties.

"It's all right!" she said, hurriedly. "Robbie, this is my father-in-law. He's visiting from Learnsville."

" _Just_ visiting?" Robbie asked with disdain.

"For a few days!" she agreed.

"I'm feeling a bit lost," Sportacus said with a small laugh.

"This is Nancy Candid, Danny's mother," Robbie introduced. "And _that_...is a **stranger**."

Thomas gave Robbie a scathing look.

"Between the candy and being held so much, the boy's going to be spoiled."

"Is he going to cause problems?" Robbie asked Nancy, sharply.

"No!" Nancy said, soothingly. "He's just full of hot air and cranky from the drive."

"What's your interest in my grandson?" Thomas asked sharply.

Robbie drew himself to his full, impressive height, stepping closer so he could loom over Thomas, menacingly. Sportacus tensed. Robbie wasn't a fighter, generally speaking, but he knew some nasty tricks. Thomas wasn't making a good impression, but Sportacus couldn't stand by and let him be harmed.

"I am Robbie ROTTEN, the number one villain in the WORLD. If I want to stuff children full of candy and sweets and make them lazy, you don't look heroic enough to stop me!"

"I am, though," Sportacus reminded him, amused. "Strawberries!"

A few strawberries flew from his backpack into his hand. Sportacus handed them to Danny, who took them eagerly.

"There you are. Something healthy will balance out all that sugar," Sportacus promised, surprised, when Robbie laughed.

"I hate to tell you this, Sportakook, but you're spoiling his dinner, too!" Robbie said, chortling, then frowned at Nancy. "What is for dinner anyways?"

"What does that matter to you?" Thomas demanded.

"Oh, Dad, hush," Nancy said, wearily, then turned back to Robbie with a defiant smile. "Actually, we're having taco salads."

"That sounds delicious!" Sportacus said approvingly.

"Hardly! That is a nasty thing to do to innocent tacos," Robbie growled, making Sportacus laugh.

"Have you ever had one?" Nancy asked pointedly.

"ME?! Eat...lettuce? Don't be revolting."

"Nancy, I think we should go, now," Thomas said, glaring at Robbie.

"Please, stop being a pill," Nancy pleaded. "Why don't you go pick out something for dessert, okay?"

"Fine," Thomas conceded, ignoring Robbie and giving Sportacus a curt nod, before walking off.

"Robbie," Sportacus said, sighing, "you could have been friendlier. I know Thomas seems strict, but I doubt he means any harm!"

"I don't like his attitude and I don't like strange people coming to Lazy Town and doing who-knows-what!"

"I don't think he wants to take your place as town villain," Sportacus said, rolling his eyes.

"Your face will freeze like that," Robbie mocked lightly. "Anyways, he couldn't if he tried. Now, if you'll excuse me, I forgot to grab some cream."

Robbie handed Danny, still munching happily, to Nancy and left the aisle. Sportacus sighed, smiling fondly, while Nancy laughed.

"So, how did the town hero end up shopping with the town villain?"

"I've convinced him to try and be friends. We just happened to be here at the same time, so," Sportacus said, shrugging, "we're shopping. To be honest, I'm glad we found something we both do. I've been trying to think of something we could do that would be fun for both of us."

Nancy considered that, then smiled mischievously, tilting her head.

"You haven't experienced a Lazy Town Halloween, yet, have you?"

"Well, no. I still spend time in Lazy Town, but I spend most of October visiting my family."

"Oh. Well, it's just Robbie loves Halloween. He spends all October doing fun stuff, both for himself and even the older kids. If you're looking for ways to spend time with Robbie, just get into the Halloween spirit! He'll find plenty for you to do."

"I can't really do much, with all that candy."

"There's far more to Halloween than candy, silly!" Nancy chided. "Trust me. Just mention it to him, when you get a chance."

"Okay! I'll do that," Sportacus agreed cheerfully. "You know a lot about him."

"I've known him all my life. He's about twelve years older than me and he babysat me, when he was a teenager. Anyway, I better go. I still have salads to make. Good luck, Sportacus!"

"Thank you, Nancy! It was lovely to meet you!"

"She gone?" Robbie asked, entering the aisle, then placing cream in the cart. "Come on. If you're going to buy that disgusting sportscandy, then let's get it over with."

"Actually, I have enough sportscandy," Sportacus corrected, grinning. I do need to get some more soccer and basketballs, though. The kids still accidentally destroy and lose them, pretty often."

"Well, that isn't _as_ bad as sportcandy," Robbie conceded ungraciously, his shoulders still hunched in annoyance. "Lead the way."

Sportacus did, his eyes brightening at the sight of all the fun toys and games in the sports section of the store. He gazed fondly at all the different balls, the bats, and the other equipment. Robbie just yawned, unimpressed.

"Come on. These things are supposed to be fun, not torture!" Sportacus urged.

"Tell that to middle school gym teachers," Robbie countered, leaning against the cart.

Sportacus just shook his head, trying to stifle his impatience with Robbie's dismissive attitude. Looking in the middle of a path between aisles, Sportacus gave a small cry of joy. A large basketball hoop had been set up, as a display. The orange netting hung above Sportacus' head, just waiting to accept a ball.

"Come on, Robbie! Let's play. I'll show you some simple moves."

"Haven't you annoyed Larry enough today?"

"Why would they set the entire net up, if they didn't want people to try it out?" Sportacus said, innocently.

Robbie just shook his head, as Sportacus grabbed a basketball and began dribbling. He circled the net a couple of times, before jumping up and shoving the ball through the net. Robbie watched, rather fondly amused. Seeing Larry, he cleared his throat, trying to warn Sportacus. Unfortunately, the flipping elf was too busy showing off moves to a gathering crowd to listen.

" _Mr. Sportacus,_ " Larry snapped, bringing the hero to a grinding halt.

"What?! Why is it that easy for him?" Robbie whined, aggravated.

"Oh, uh, hello, Larry. I was just testing out your lovely net!"

"That is a display," Larry explained with strained patience. "We set it out, so people can get an idea of its size and what it _looks_ like."

Sportacus' head hung down, as shame gripped him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disobey any rules or cause trouble."

"I know, but I really can't make exceptions. Look, you need to go, okay? Go do some exercises, play a game, whatever you need to. But, you need to settle down, before you come back!"

"Oh," Sportacus said, blushing intensely. He handed Larry the ball, smiling sadly. "Okay. I'll go. Um. Robbie, I...I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Larry. I'll see you later."

Sportacus walked away, gratefully accepting the sympathetic murmurs of the crowd. Robbie watched in dismay. He hadn't realized Sportacus was _able_ to look that sad! Frowning, the villain turned on Larry.

"Let me make this very clear. **I am the town villain.** I am allowed to crush Sportacus' feelings. Me, NOT YOU. Got that?"

"I get it," Larry said, sighing. "I tried to be gentle about it, but what else could I do?"

"I couldn't care less," Robbie told him, grabbing back the basketball and tossing a few other types of balls into his basket. "I'm outta here."

"Have a good day," Larry said, tiredly, mostly out of habit.

"Whatever," Robbie responded, turning down an aisle towards the cash registers.

Robbie paid quickly, at the self checkout registers, then made his way outside. He was a little surprised to see Sportacus doing rapid push ups, on a bench, just outside the store. He sat up, when Robbie set a few bags, including ones with the sports equipment, down in front of him.

"Thank you, Robbie!" Sportacus said with a grin. "How much do I owe you?"

"Don't make a fuss about it," Robbie grumbled, ignoring the question.

"Um, okay," Sportacus agreed, a bit bewildered.

"Are you going to quit being droopy? It's a bit creepy."

"Well, being in trouble isn't fun."

"Depends on the trouble," Robbie assured him. "I could teach you the fun kind, if you would cooperate."

"I'll think about it," Sportacus said, feeling more cheerful.

Rummaging in a bag, Robbie pulled out the chips they had picked out, a soda, and a bottle of water. He handed the water and Vegetopia chips to Sportacus. Settling on the bench, Robbie opened his cheese curls, then his soda, taking a long gulp of the syrupy liquid.

"Ahhhh," he said, smacking his lips in satisfaction. "That is so good! Come on, Sporty! Give your chips a try!"

With a rueful laugh, Sportacus obeyed, pulling a light purple chip from the bag. He looked dubiously at the strange looking snack, then placed it in his mouth. A salty, sweet flavor assaulted his tongue. He chewed, thoughtfully. Yes, he could taste the beetroot, but it tasted off. Swallowing, Sportacus shook his head.

"Robbie, the vegetable flavor is so weak, it's almost an aftertaste! This is not good!" Sportacus explained.

"Hand them over," Robbie said.

Grabbing the bag, Robbie took a handful of the chips, shoving them into his mouth. He chewed slowly, thinking the flavor over with care.

"Hmmm, plenty of yummy salt, nice crunch, and I can definitely taste potat...EW!" Robbie exclaimed, shaking his head. "You're right. There's definitely an aftertaste. I can taste the vegetables."

"That's _not_ what vegetables taste like!" Sportacus protested.

"Well, these are defective, then. Guess we'll let the kiddos have them."

"I think I'm just not a potato chips sort of person."

"Nonsense. There _has_ to be something you can enjoy!"

"How's the cake experiment going?"

"Not as bad as I thought. I've got the taste right. I just have to get the sponge properly fluffy."

"I wish you luck."

"Yeah," Robbie agreed, standing and throwing his now empty soda bottle into the trash. "Well, time to get my cold foods home. Make sure the kids get to try those!"

Robbie handed the veggie chips back to Sportacus with a stern look.

"I'll make sure they don't go to waste," Sportacus promised, smiling cheerfully. "Thank you. I liked shopping with you."

"It...was fun," Robbie admitted, awkwardly, his fingers fumbling around each other. "Even if you did get thrown out on your ear, for being a Sportajock."

"I hope that didn't embarrass you. I..."

"Oh, please! I mean, who doesn't get kicked out of these places, every so often? It's no big deal. So. Yeah, bye!"

Robbie rushed off, disappearing behind a couple of trees. Sportacus stood, hefting his bags over his shoulder. He would have to ask Stephanie and Pixel about Halloween!


	3. About those Kids

A child's scream pierced Robbie's ears, yanking him painfully awake. Unfortunately, Robbie was used to noisy children costing him sleep. Sportacus had recently found quiet ways to keep the kids active, so Robbie could nap more. Most days, however, they were still loud, laughing and screaming around town. Usually, Robbie found the noise irritating.

This scream filled him with terror.

Following the noise, Robbie found Stephanie lying at the bottom of the tree house's ladder. Weeping, she was trying to turn herself over, lifting up on trembling arms.

"Pink Girl! Hold still!" Robbie commanded, relieved, when she obeyed.

Blood covered her leg. Rushing over, Robbie released Stephanie from the ladder, then carefully turned her over. He examined the ladder and saw a blood-soaked nail, sticking out from it's place. Stephanie whimpered, breathing shallowly. Robbie examined the wound, relieved that there was no bone in sight. It was just a deep cut, though further down the leg was at a bad angle.

"My leg," she whispered, distressed, twisting to try and see the damage.

"Oh, no, you do not get to look at that!" Robbie said, quickly using magic to fetch a blanket from his lair and wrapping it around Stephanie's bottom half. He ignored her astonishment, asking, "Where's Sportacus?!"

"His crystal beeped and he left," Stephanie said, pointing toward's the sky over the center of town.

Robbie bit back a curse, seeing smoke in the air. He didn't bother wondering what was on fire. He turned back, seeing Stephanie still crying freely. Robbie took out his handkerchief and gently stroked away the tears. As he did that, he sent some magic into the blanket. He couldn't heal her, but he could ease the pain a bit. Pressing the cloth into her hand, he sighed.

"Keep that. Blow your nose or whatever," he instructed. "Okay, I know you want Sportacus, or even your uncle, but your leg is broken and bleeding. NO, DON'T LOOK! Just...I'm going to take you to the hospital, then I'll call them. Right?"

"Mmhm, but how are we going to get there?"

"The easy way, of course," Robbie drawled, bending over her, then standing with her in his arms. "Ready to see a neat trick?"

"O-okay," Stephanie agreed, looking bewildered and afraid.

"Here we go. One-two-three!" Robbie counted, taking a step with each number.

On the first and second steps, Stephanie was surrounded by light. The third step left her gaping. She and Robbie were in the emergency room of the hospital, on the west side of town! She stared at the nurses, doctors, and patients, milling and sitting around. A sharp pain jabbed across her leg and she burst into tears again, fear catching up to her.

"What?! What's wrong? It'll be okay!" Robbie promised, frantically.

"I twisted my leg, as I fell," Stephanie said, half-choked by her tears. "What if I can't ever dance again?"

"Yeah, it'll never happen," Robbie said flatly, then smiled at Stephanie's indignant huffing. "What do you want to bet Sportaflop is just an EXCELLENT physical therapist? Not that you're likely to need one!"

"He probably would be," Stephanie agreed, then frowned, trying to be stern, though Robbie thought the tears just made her look tragic. "And, you shouldn't call him that, if you really are his friend."

"Look, Pink Girl, I just happen to find it easier to identify people by inherent traits than by random syllables chosen as 'names.' What is a Stephanie? What are the intrinsic qualities of one? Name one latent characteristic that identifies you as Stephanie."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Stephanie answered, shrugging helplessly. "It's just my name."

"Good. So, let's change the subject and get that leg fixed."

Robbie walked a bit deeper into the room, shifting Stephanie, so he could place two of his fingers in his mouth. He made a long, shrill whistle, that seemed to bounce off of the walls, bringing everyone nearby to a halt, eyes focused on Robbie.

"You!" he said, pinning a nurse holding some files with his gaze. "What are you doing?"

"I...I'm taking some records to be sorted into patients' files."

"That'll wait. Call the mayor and tell him his niece is here with a broken leg. You!" Robbie said, targeting another nurse, who was talking to a young man in sweats. "Quit chatting and find a doctor who isn't busy with something worse than this."

Stephanie watched, amazed, as both nurses quickly obeyed, abandoning their previous activities.

"Are you controlling them with magic?" she asked, her tone managing to be awed and disapproving at the same time.

"No, they just know me," Robbie assured her. "Everyone used to listen to me like that, before you brought Sporto to town."

"Why? I mean, don't they have rules for people coming in and who goes first?"

"Yeah, yeah, but you'd be surprised what some hefty donations'll get ya," Robbie said, chuckling.

A handsome young doctor, with bright blue eyes and very dark brown hair, came over, smiling.

"Hello, Mr. Rotten. Who is this young lady?"

Stephanie blushed, smiling nervously.

"I'm Stephanie Meanswell."

"Stephanie, I'm Dr. Curas. The nurse said your leg is hurt and I can see some blood. How bad is the pain? Are you holding up okay?"

"It hurts, but not too bad."

Dr. Curas looked at Robbie, whose face radiated enough innocence to be suspicious.

"Uh huh. Well. A nurse is going to show you to a room and take your temperature and blood pressure, that sort of thing. Then, I'll be in a few minutes later to look at your leg."

"Okay. What about my uncle and Sportacus?"

"I'm sure they'll be here soon," Dr. Curas said. "Here's Nurse Aida. She'll take you to your room."

Dr. Curas walked away, as Nurse Aida came forward. She had a kind and competent appearance, with her hair done in tight, gray curls and a warm smile on her face.

"That's not fair," Robbie complained, staring openly at Curas' backside. "I always get wrinkly, old fellas and you get Dr. Eye Candy. And you're too young to care!"

"Quit ogling him," Stephanie ordered.

"Excuse you, but I am a VILLAIN. I do NOT OGLE! I might admire ruthlessly, but I do not ogle," Robbie claimed, making Stephanie giggle.

"If you'll come this way," Aida said, motioning to the hall on the right.

Robbie followed, still carrying Stephanie, going into the room Aida indicated and setting Stephanie down on the bed. He pulled the chair close to her, sitting down. Aida examined Stephanie, then efficiently cleaned and put stitches into her cut, placing a bandage around it. By the time she finished, Sportacus arrived, smiling warmly at the nurse, as she left.

"Stephanie!" the hero greeted, his usual cheer drowned in concern for his young friend. "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay. We're waiting for the doctor," Stephanie told him, trying to put on a brave face, though tear tracks were still visible on her cheeks, despite Robbie's efforts.

"What happened? I knew you were hurt, but the crystal showed Robbie helping you."

"I fell out of the tree house," Stephanie admitted.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be there to help," Sportacus said, sadly.

"You were dealing with a FIRE!" Robbie said, incredulously.

"Yes, Robbie," Sportacus agreed, dryly. "I do know, but I still regret not being able to help her. I'm glad you were there, though."

"Yeah, yeah, you're both welcome," Robbie said, a bit sullenly.

Dr. Curas came in.

"We're going to take Stephanie down for x-rays, now. If everything goes well, we'll take her from there to set the bone and get a cast put on. You can wait here for her."

As soon as the doctor and Stephanie were gone, Robbie hopped up onto the bed, curling up with his arms wrapped around his legs and his head resting on his knees. Sportacus sat down in the chair and tentatively placed his hand in Robbie's back. Robbie peeked sideways at him, frowning.

"Are you all right?" Sportacus asked, gently.

"OF COURSE I'M NOT ALL RIGHT!" Robbie shouted. "Your little pink PROTÉGÉ went and broke her LEG, Sportakook!"

"I know," Sportacus said, looking miserable. "I should have been there."

"No," Robbie rasped, angrily. "You should quit encouraging them to live dangerously!"

"Robbie, I _don't_ do that," Sportacus answered firmly, trying to control his own temper.

"You don't mean to, but this is what happens, when kids are active. Running around, playing, being in trees...someone always ends up hurt!"

"Robbie. I understand. You want the kids to be safe. But. They need to grow and learn and that means playing and being active. Letting them take risks is part of letting them learn. If you don't, they _might_ be safe, but they'll never be really happy."

"So, it doesn't matter, _if they get hurt_?" Robbie growled.

"Of course, it matters! I do my best to protect them, Robbie, and that includes teaching them to be careful. I feel terrible that this happened!"

Robbie stared hard at Sportacus for a few moments, then nodded, sighing.

"Yeah, you do," he agreed, relaxing. "I keep forgetting you aren't him."

"Him?"

"Your predecessor."

"Nine. You ran out him out of town. I have wondered how you did that."

Robbie grinned, unpleasantly.

"I fought hard and dirty. A lot dirtier than anything I tried with you."

"Why?"

"He wasn't like you. Nine didn't like excuses. Limitations were to be conquered and fears faced. Nothing else was acceptable."

"Facing fears is part of growing."

"Children aren't always going to be ready, because an adult wants them to be. He pushed too hard, Sportacus."

"I didn't know he was so...unkind."

"He isn't...wasn't. He just very aggressively encouraged them and the kids...they wanted to please him. They wanted his approval and they got it. Even if they failed, he'd praise them for trying. So, they learned to ignore their limits, for him."

"You were his villain. Are you sure your memories aren't biased?"

"I didn't start off his villain. When he first came, I was indifferent to him. Some lonely kid sent him a letter, just like Stephanie did with you, and he adjusted well enough. I kept an eye on him though. I keep an eye on everyone who stays in Lazy Town, especially strangers."

"You know, a lot of this doesn't add up. Nancy said you babysat her, when you were a teenager. But...Nine was here a long time ago. The Mayor never even knew him!"

"No, Nancy lied to protect me. Nine was here when the Mayor's dad was a child."

"You're older than you look, then."

"Yes, I am," Robbie agreed, smugly.

"What happened, between you and Nine?"

"He let a child from **my town** get hurt!" Robbie raged, his fingers digging deeply into the bed.

"Badly?" Sportacus asked, gently, and watched Robbie deliberately relax.

"No. Fortunately, no. The boy, Richie, got lucky. He fell off a climbing wall three times his own height that Nine pushed him to climb. Richie was afraid of heights and Nine thought conquering the wall would cure him. Instead, the boy got vertigo and fell from the very top. Walked away with a sprained wrist and a bruised backside."

Sportacus winced.

"Nine didn't catch him?"

"Nope. I don't know why. Probably he was distracted, helping some other kid. Falls happen fast. I got mad and decided he needed to leave. SO! Now, you have my villain origin story. I was always cranky and lazy. After that, I was dead set against having a hero in my town."

"And you decided the best way to keep children safe was to keep them lazy."

"That, too, yes."

"Robbie," Sportacus said, sighing, then asked, sadly, "Are you going to try running me out again, now?"

"QUIT MAKING THAT FACE!" Robbie demanded, stricken by Sportacus' sorrow. "No, I'm not going to run you out of town. This wasn't your fault, not really, and certainly not in the same way."

"Good," Sportacus said, relieved. "I like us being friends."

"Nine couldn't stand me, even before we fought," Robbie laughed.

The door opened again and Aida wheeled Stephanie in, her leg in a fresh cast.

"Hi, guys!" she said, cheerfully.

"What in the world are you so happy about?" Robbie asked, frowning, his brows lowered.

"The break in my leg is super clean and I'll be just fine, once the break heals! I'll be dancing again in a bit over a month."

"Oh, goody."

Sportacus rolled his eyes, chuckling, as he leaned over to give Stephanie a hug.

"That's great news, Stephanie! I'm glad you're okay."

"Yeah. My uncle called and he's on his way with Pixel and the others. Mr. Spoilero lent Ms. Busybody his car, so they could all come at once."

"Just what the hospital needed, it's own circus!"

"Robbie!" Stephanie scolded, laughing. "Can I tell the other kids you can do magic?"

"Well, since you just told Sportacus, I guess you can. It's not a secret. Frankly, they'd already know, if they were paying attention."

"Well, I didn't know!" Stephanie assured him. "Sportacus, you should have seen. It was great! We were at the tree house, then Robbie took three steps and BAM! We were right here at the hospital."

"That's not even hard. It's just taking a short cut from a to b. I'm good at short cuts."

"Oh, Robbie," Stephanie said, hopping up from the chair and clambering up next to Robbie, giving him a hug.

"Hey, guys!" Pixel greeted, coming in with the others in tow. "Are you doing better, Stephanie?"

"Yeah, I'm all right. Robbie brought me here with magic! Did you know he can use magic?"

The other children just looked bewildered, shaking their heads and scoffing. Laughing, Robbie produced a marker.

"Here, kid. Let me sign your leg. Tradition and all," Robbie offered.

"OOOooo, yes, please!"

Stephanie moved her leg towards Robbie, who signed his name with a flourish neatly down her shin. He wrote in large, purple letters, then smirked, offering the marker to Pixel.

"Your turn," Robbie said, smirking.

Pixel took the marker and signed his own name just below Robbie's. This time, the letters came out in a brilliant orange color. The boy gaped.

"Hey! How did you do that?" Trixie demanded.

"He's showing off again," Ms. Busybody said, with a sigh.

"Obviously, the marker has multiple tips," Stingy lectured, primly.

"Uh. No, it doesn't," Pixel said, confused. "It's just an ordinary marker. A purple one."

"I think Stinky is up next," Robbie said, serenely.

"My name is STINGY," the boy corrected, haughtily, taking the marker from Pixel and examining it closely. He didn't find anything to explain the different colors, but maybe the marker was fading. Orange wasn't that far off from purple, without the blue...nope. Stingy shook a bit, as he signed his name, the letters coming out a golden yellow.

"That's just not possible!" Trixie exclaimed, grabbing the marker.

"That's miii..."

"It's my marker and Tricky's turn," Robbie interrupted, rolling his eyes and beginning to gloat a bit.

"It's magic, guys!" Stephanie insisted.

Trixie looked down at the signature she had created, admiring the deep red against the stark white of the cast.

"Yep, sure looks that way," she agreed, handing the pen to Sportacus.

Sportacus signed, his own letters coming out a perfect, sky blue. He laughed.

"That's just right! Your cast is very pretty now, Stephanie."

"I knew you would want to see your friends, Stephanie, but it's time to go home now," Milford told her.

"Oh, okay," Stephanie said, a bit disappointed.

"Mr. Mayor, I have an idea. Stephanie could probably use some fresh air, after being so long in the hospital. Why don't we all bring some food and eat together at the picnic tables, in the park?" Sportacus suggested.

"Oh, well, that sounds just fine," Milford agreed, to the cheers of the children.

"Robbie? Will you come too?" Stephanie asked, timidly.

"Sure," Robbie agreed, shrugging. "I'm not piling into that car with you, though."

Robbie disappeared, in a flash of light, removing any lingering doubts about his magic.

"Well, it's not like I drive badly!" Ms. Busybody huffed. "All right, everyone to the car!"

Everyone obeyed and they made the trip home, while Stephanie told about her fall and Robbie's rescue. Everyone went to gather food for the picnic, then regathered at the park. Robbie was already there and had, naturally, brought cake, for his contribution. Two huge cakes sat on one table, both tall and frosted thickly. Sportacus grinned, shaking his head.

"You seem to have outdone yourself, Robbie!"

"That's more true than you know. It so happens that my genius has prevailed. The cake on the right should be one hundred percent safe for flip-flopping elves!"

"You made a cake Sportacus can eat?" Ziggy asked, eagerly, loving the idea.

"I have indeed!" Robbie crowed. "His cake is, ugh, a lemon cake with blueberry filling and lavender buttercream. The other cake is a purple jelly cake with peanut butter ganache filling and honey buttercream frosting."

"You mean grape jelly?" Sportacus asked.

"I certainly do not!" Robbie denied, firmly. "Now, come on. Let's eat!"

"Healthy foods first, then dessert!"

"Oh, come ON! Really?!"

"But, Robbie, we all brought really yummy food! Uncle and I brought oven fried chicken and Pixel's parents made their famous potato salad."

"Yeah and I brought cornbread and cole slaw, which at least has a little sugar in it," Trixie added.

"Okay, okay! I'm already starving! Can't we just eat everything all at once, cake included? If you're gonna eat a bit of everything anyways, why not just slice up the cakes now?"

"I think that will be all right, at least this once," Sportacus agreed, proud that Robbie even suggested a compromise.

Everyone else agreed, readily enough. Robbie sliced up the cakes, then grabbed a piece of his, before piling a second plate with the other foods. Sportacus made himself a plate, with much smaller portions, then settled across from Robbie at one of the tables.

"I'm glad you came. I appreciate you making a cake for me."

"Well, I hope you like it. No one should have to suffer through life without cake."

Sportacus laughed, then took a bite of his cake, chewing thoughtfully. He grinned. The lemon was sweet and tangy, complimenting the blueberries nicely. The soft texture seemed strange, but somehow delightful. Well, there had to be some reason Robbie was so fond of these things. Now, Sportacus thought he understood a bit better.

"That is delicious! You did a wonderful job."

Sportacus was surprised, when Robbie blushed, biting back a smile.

"Yeah, well. I've certainly had enough practice at making cakes. And, you have been helping me get more naps."

"That was simple enough. I just take the kids hiking away from town or to do games at the beach. Building sand castles takes a lot of energy."

"Nine would never have even considered it."

"Then, he and I really aren't alike. You need sleep and, if you can't at night, well, that makes naps understandable. Though, I do wish I knew why you can't sleep at night."

"You and me both," Robbie said shortly. "Do you remember what you said, when I agreed we could be friends? You said I'm an adult and make my own decisions. Funny thing is I said almost those exact words to Nine. Do you know what he said?"

"I take it he disagreed."

"He said I had the habits of a spoiled child and he intended to treat me like one...for my own good, of course."

Sportacus winced.

"That's terrible!" he proclaimed, making Robbie laugh.

Robbie reached across the table, giving Sportacus' arm a friendly pat.

"Yes, well, he's him and you're you and he's not here. So eat up, Sportapal. There's only so many things we're both willing to do, after all."

"Speaking of that, Nancy said I should talk to you about Halloween."

Robbie's whole countenance lit up with excitement. Just seeing that much happiness made Sportacus more interested in the subject.

"Well, now," Robbie said slowly, leaning forward. "That is the one thing I might look forward to more than cake."

"I don't know much about it," Sportacus admitted. "But, I can move some of my family visits to November, so I can learn."

"Oh, this is going to be fun," Robbie gloated.

Sportacus believed him.


	4. Halloween Hijinx

"SPORT!" Robbie shouted, rushing down the street towards Sportacus, smiling widely.

"Hi, Robbie," Sportacus said, grunting a bit, when Robbie careened into him, wrapping his long arms around Sportacus' shoulder and waist.

"Sportapal," Robbie drawled, oozing charm and mischief. "You want to do your best friend a favor for Halloween, right? Hmmmmm?"

"Uh," Sportacus hedged, unable to help grinning up at Robbie, who was, when all was said and done, _still_ the town villain, "that depends on the favor, Robbie."

"Of course it does!" Robbie agreed, a bit too easily. "I promise, this won't do anything permanent or dangerous to your flying death ship. It's already dangerous enough, after all!"

"It's not a death ship, Robbie...and I'd really like to keep it that way! What exactly do you want to do with my home?"

"Well, _decorate_ it, of course! Death ship or not, it doesn't LOOK dangerous or anything...not really in keeping with the whole Halloween vibe, y'know."

"What sort of decoration are we talking about? Specifics, Robbie, please!"

"A BAT!" Robbie announced proudly, lifting his arm from Sportacus' waist to wave it grandly in the air. "Picture it: a full moon, a few clouds, and a creepy, giant bat hovering menacingly over the entire town!"

Sportacus gave a surprised chuckle, caught between confusion and Robbie's endearing enthusiasm, noticing the fervent gleam in the villain's gray eyes.

"How?" Sportacus asked, mystified and, despite some serious misgivings, intrigued.

"Well..." Robbie began, then stopped. He opened his mouth to continue, then shut it again, looking around warily. "Actually. Let's continue this talk in my lair. Come on!"

Robbie grabbed Sportacus' hand and began pulling him towards the cow billboard, just outside of town. Sportacus blushed a bit, at the contact, laughing lowly. He followed along, surprised, when Robbie suddenly pulled him sharply to the left.

"Don't walk right there," Robbie warned.

"Why? What's there?"

"Well, nothing yet. A holographic ghost will appear there, once I get everything in place."

"Triggered by the pressure of a foot?"

"Oh, yes. I'm setting up little surprises like that all over town. Some give scares, some give sweets, some give both. The entire town will be a minefield of Halloween tricks and treats."

"Wow. You really do love this holiday!"

"What's not to love?" Robbie asked, as they reached the hatch, leading down into his lair.

Sportacus just grinned, shaking his head and following Robbie down into his dark home.

"I have the blueprints over here!" Robbie said, pointing at his work table.

"Blueprints?" Sportacus asked, more warily now.

"Well, I have to build the wings, after all!" Robbie said, defensively. "They should pop right on and off, though. Come on, come look. This is a brilliant piece of engineering!"

"No one is questioning your skills, Robbie," Sportacus soothed, gently. "This just...seems like a pretty huge project."

"Nonsense. You forget I'm a _lazy_ villain. The whole process should only take, oh, two hours, at most."

"That doesn't sound too bad," Sportacus admitted, looking at the blueprints. "But, how are you going to make the bat the proper color? I really don't want to paint my ship!"

"Noooo, I didn't figure you would, so I made some sticky paper. It's sort of like wallpaper, but a LOT easier to remove. I can make batches of it in the bat's colors and make it look nice and realistic. There can even be some fuzzy bits, too."

Sportacus examined the blueprints closely, noting the apparently animated bat's head that Robbie had designed. It was impressive. Sportacus could tell that the decorations would work well with the ship's design and not interfere with its functions. Robbie waited, his arms crossed and his fingers drumming against his arms. Sportacus nodded, firmly, smiling.

"All right, Robbie."

"All right, meaning yes? You're saying yes?!" Robbie asked, eagerly.

"Yes, I'm saying yes," Sportacus assured him. "I'm curious to see how this will look!"

"Yes!" Robbie repeated, surprising Sportacus by throwing his arms around the hero's shoulders and squeezing tightly. "Thank you, thank you! This is going to look so COOL!"

"You're welcome, Robbie. When do you want to do this?"

"Tonight! I still need to get a few little things together, but I'm basically ready," Robbie admitted.

"That soon? It's still three weeks until Halloween."

"Pssshhhh. Sportacus! Halloween isn't a single day. It's a month long event and the first week is almost gone. We're _behind schedule_!"

Sportacus shook his head, shrugging in acceptance. An angry scream interrupted. Whirling around, Sportacus looked for the source, assuming someone had invaded Robbie's lair. Robbie just frowned, stalking over to his periscope and lowering his viewer. Sportacus walked up next to him, crossing his arms. His crystal went off, just as he reached Robbie's side.

"Oooops," Robbie drawled, his nose twitching. "That'll be Tricky."

"She's in trouble," Sportacus declared, heading for the hatch.

"Yeah, head for the plaza. One of my tricks isn't working right," Robbie told him following, with a sulky sigh.

Sportacus hurried, spotting easily the large coffin looming in the sports field. He wrenched the lid off, letting Trixie stumble out. Her face was red and her lips trembled.

"Trixie, are you all right?" Sportacus asked, concerned, but calm.

"Yeah! I was walking along and this stupid coffin appeared! It started glowing green inside, so I stepped in to explore and it shut on me! Then the lights went out," Trixie complained, huffing angrily.

"Well, that all sounds about right," Robbie said, shrugging.

"Robbie Rotten..." Trixie started, her voice raising.

"Now, wait. You said "about" right. What wasn't right?" Sportacus asked.

"Well, the light should have taken her to Lazy Park, the wooded part," Robbie explained. "Then the coffin should have reset for the next person."

"Well, that's not what happened at ALL!" Trixie protested.

"Trixie. It was an accident," Sportacus said, soothingly.

"Yeah, sorry, I'm fixing it," Robbie said, grumpily. "Just don't spoil the surprise for anyone else, okay?"

"Oh, all right," Trixie agreed, rudely.

"Thank you, Trixie. Why don't we go play some soccer, so Robbie can work."

"Yeah! I'll go get the others."

"Cool," Sportacus said, laughing, as Trixie ran off. "Robbie, check your other machines okay? I know it's a prank, but being trapped isn't fun. Aren't the kids supposed to have fun, too?"

"Oh, don't _worry_ so much. I'll do an inspection thing and make sure everything is running smoothly."

"Thank you. I'll see you later."

"Uh huh," Robbie muttered from inside the coffin, waving a hand vaguely in Sportacus' direction.

Unseen by either man, Glanni Glaepur stepped out from behind a nearby tree, wringing his hands in delight. Sneaking forward, he gave Robbie a light push deeper into the coffin, then slammed its lid shut. Glanni knew Robbie would get out rather quickly, but it was the thought that counted. He laughed, listening to Robbie squawk.

"This Halloween," Glanni promised, " _I'm_ going to be the master of MAYHEM, bwahahahahaha!"

"HEY! What am I? A figment of your imagination?!"

Glanni snorted, turning to his newest playmate. The creature looked like a middle-aged man, but his skin was utterly white, with dark circles around his eyes and mold growing on his cheeks. His greenish white hair stood up in a tangled mane. A white and black striped suit completed his look. Glanni had met Beetlejuice two weeks ago, when robbing a haunted mansion.

"I wish my imagination was that twisted. I've just waited a very long time to FINALLY outdo my older brother's Halloween tricks. Heh heh. HE doesn't know any actual ghosts! We'll turn some of his tricks on him and throw in some of our own, too!"

"Wow, okay!" Beetlejuice said, holding his hands up, palms out. "Gotta love a family that takes Halloween as seriously as you do!"

"Come on! I promised we'd have fun and that's what we're going to do! Let's check out some of Robbie's tricks."

"Lead the way. This is the smallest place I've been in, since I visited Winter River."

"Where?" Glanni asked, frowning deeply.

"Connecticut."

"Bah, ew. Never mind, never mind. This is the town square. He'll have plenty of stuff right here."

Beetlejuice poked around the square, a bit dismayed at how _wholesome_ the town seemed. There was nothing wholesome about Glanni, which is what Beetlejuice liked about the crook. He started, when Glanni grabbed his shoulders, dragging him behind a large, purple bush.

"Shhhh," Glanni warned, pointing at the street.

Two boys were walking down the street and stopped almost directly across from Glanni and Beetlejuice. They stood in front of the ice cream stand, facing its side wall. A sign, over a glass case, read "In case of emergency, pull lever."

"Ziggy, that's in case of a fire!" Pixel said, sighing. "We can't actually pull the lever."

"But, I don't think that was there before! I bet it's one of Robbie's jokes," Ziggy said, then gulped. "One of his nicer ones, I hope."

"Go ahead, then."

"Uhmmm, you do it? Please?"

"Oh, for...fine!" Pixel conceded, grabbing the lever and pulling.

The glass case creaked open. Something white squeezed out, streaked with black. Soon, a white balloon formed, painted with a spooky, but silly, ghost face, floating up above the boys. The balloon grew and grew, until it popped, with a loud bang that made both of the children flinch back. Their fear quickly turned to laughter, as a rain of candy fell at their feet. Beetlejuice watched them collect the candy, bewildered and disappointed.

"You gotta be kidding!" he protested. "That's _IT_?"

"Shhhhh, don't be dumb!" Glanni hissed. "That's just _one_ of his pranks. He's gotta have something for the younger kids. Anyway, it's important to feed kids candy or those health nut elves will ruin them. Someone has to take a stand for yummy treats and being lazy!"

"Right," Beetlejuice drawled. "So, you don't care, if I give those tots a _real_ scare?"

"Of course not! See if you can grab some candy, while you're at it."

"Uh. Sure," Beetlejuice agreed, a bit puzzled by all the fuss Glanni made about sugary treats.

Making himself invisible, Beetlejuice sneaked over to the ice cream stand. Using magic, he made a wind blow the fragments of balloon back up into the air. Pixel and Ziggy watched, stunned, as the latex pieces merged back together and once more began to inflate. Eyes wide, Ziggy backed away, making small whimpering noises in the back of his throat. Trying to be brave, Pixel took Ziggy's hand, pulling him slowly back away from the balloon.

Beetlejuice gave off a rumbling, malicious chuckle. He took the place of the balloon, vanishing it to the trash. At first, he kept his head round, like the balloon, then slowly morphed into his snake form, with long, needle like teeth. Hissing, he sneered down at the terrified children.

"S-ss-SNAKE!" Ziggy screamed, turning and bolting down the street, losing half of his candy.

"Ziggy, WAIT!" Pixel cried, staring between his friend and the snake, before bolting after Ziggy. "I'm coming, too!"

Beetlejuice became human shaped again, dropping to the ground. Chuckling, he bent and picked up the fallen candy the boys had left behind. Glanni was sitting on a nearby bench, holding his stomach, laughing hard.

"That was great, but time's wasting. We should get to Lazy Park."

"Uh. Shouldn't we be going in the opposite direction of big brother? He's gotta be a bit steamed at you."

"Huh? Why would Robbie be mad at me?" Glanni asked, frowning lightly.

"Uh, y'know what? Beats me. You know the guy, not me."

"Actually, can you disguise yourself? Look alive? I want to introduce you to Robbie, but I don't want him knowing you're a ghost."

"Yeah, sure, sure," Beetlejuice agreed, changing his appearance just enough to pass as living.

"Perfect," Glanni gloated, as they walked.

They reached Lazy Town park and heard Robbie give a screech. Glanni rolled his eyes, but still sped up, finding Robbie a few feet into the woods. Robbie was leaning against a tree, panting, clutching a shrouded skeleton by its throat.

"Robbie?" Glanni asked, frowning, feeling a small frisson of dread.

After all, he had first hand experience that ghosts were real! But, Robbie just looked up and glared.

"You. Are. Late!" he gritted out, between clenched teeth.

"Hey, you didn't beat us here by that much!" Beetlejuice protested.

"What?! I mean with getting Halloween started," Robbie scolded. "Who are you?"

"Robbie, this is my friend, Ben T. Justin," Glanni introduced, hastily.

"Good to meet ya," Beetlejuice said heartily, smirking.

Robbie just blinked at him for a moment, his nose twitching, looking between Ben and Glanni. Finally, he shrugged, giving his brother a dubious look.

"Sure, whatever. Nice to meet you?" Robbie offered reluctantly. He examined the man's black and white suit and gave a more natural grin. "Nice outfit. It's almost as good as one of mine."

"Heh, thanks. You look pretty sharp yourself. Glanni says you're a master of Halloween pranks."

"I certainly am! Uh, Glanni, I do gotta warn you. Sportacus is going to be helping out this year."

"Sportacow?" Glanni screeched, backing up. "No, no, no. What's the elf doing in town? I come here to get away from elves!"

"I talked him into staying. We've sorta become...friendly. Ish," Robbie explained, worried about his little brother's reaction.

It wasn't that Robbie cared what Glanni thought. Robbie could do whatever he wanted. He certainly wasn't going to live his life to please his baby brother! No, no. Robbie simply wanted the man to be aware, that was all. For his part, Glanni just looked confused and a bit worried.

"Are villains allowed to do that?" he asked, hesitantly, then shook his head. "This is supposed to be Halloween! How can we play pranks and give out candy, with a heroic elf in the way?"

"We're villains. We do what we want, including Halloween," Robbie defended, shaking the skeleton at his brother. "We're going to go full out, just like we do every year! Now, help me get this stupid thing in its proper place."

Growling in annoyance, Glanni stalked over, grabbing the skeleton, so Robbie could work on the wire leading from the exit of the coffin prank to the top of a nearby tree. A box with a sensor and release mechanism was hidden in the branches. Glanni glared up at it, as the movement of the wire released water drops from the tree's leaves onto his shoulders.

"Robbie, this tree is wet!"

"Yeah, yeah, it's been raining. And why is that good?"

"It means clouds and clouds are spooky. Clouds give atmosphere, with no effort from us," Glanni recited, obediently.

"You're wearing your thermals, aren't you?" Robbie asked, sharply.

"Yes, mother!" Glanni snapped.

Beetlejuice waited for Robbie to snap back, but in vain. Robbie didn't seem to mind his little brother's harsh tone, reaching up and lightly scratching behind one of Glanni's ears. Glanni just gave a wiggling shiver, looking pleased.

"Good kitten," Robbie praised.

"I'm not good," Glanni retorted, grinning.

"True. Bad kitten!" Robbie agreed, laughing.

"Well, I'll agree with the bad part. I'm not so sure about kitten. Most kittens are sweet."

Glanni gave a distressed mewl, jumping up onto the lower branches of the tree. Robbie flinched back from the voice. Whirling around, Beetlejuice prepared to use his magic.

"Ípróttálfurrin!" Glanni scolded, brows drawn together in anger. "What are you _doing_ here?"

"My little brother decided to spend October in Lazy Town. Since you're usually gone, during October, I thought I would take a small break and come visit him here."

"Ugh!" Robbie groaned. "Why is my town filling up with strangers? Isn't ONE flip-floppy elf enough? Look, He-throttles-elves, your brother is playing soccer with the town kids. Why don't you go join him and try staying out of the way?"

Ípróttálfurrin crossed his arms over his chest, ignoring the wild cackles coming from Glanni and Beetlejuice. Robbie smirked, eyes twinkling with triumph, gloating at having the audience on his side for once. Shaking his head, Ípróttálfurrin wagged a finger at Robbie.

"You are a villain. It is my job to be in the way of your schemes."

"This isn't a _scheme_ ," Robbie huffed, his shoulders hunching down, making a frustrated movement with his hands. "This is HALLOWEEN! This is FUN. You don't object to fun, do you?"

"I'm all too aware of the things Glanni thinks are 'fun.'"

Beetlejuice stopped laughing, standing back up from where he had been pounding the ground, in his laughter. His lips pulled back from uneven teeth, his brow lowered. Stalking, he approached Ípróttálfurrin, stopping within inches of him.

"Listen. Killjoy! We are putting up a _plastic skeleton_! OKAY?! No one's going to get hurt or nothin'. Got that? I promise," Beetlejuice rasped out, his voice oozing with sincerity, hands spread out in gesture of peace.

"It's my job to protect the children," Ípróttálfurrin explained, with stern patience. "I don't think they will enjoy your jokes on them."

The other three stared, wide-eyed and silent, at him for a few moments, then exchanged utterly confused glances. Glanni covered his face with his hands, shaking his head, while Robbie threw his hands in the air, wheezing out air in a strangled scream. Beetlejuice sighed, cocking his head.

"Man, there's stupid, then there's YOU. News flash, loser. Kids LOVE Halloween! They like tricks, treats, and, yeah, I'm saying it, THEY LOVE BEING SCARED! That's the whole POINT. That's what makes Halloween so awesome!"

"EXACTLY!" Robbie scoffed.

"Robbie? What's going on?"

Everyone turned to see Sportacus approaching from the sports field.

"Sport! Will you do something about this guy?!" Robbie whined, his lower lip pushing out, while his eyes shown out from under drawn brows.

"Ípróttálfurrin!" Sportacus said, happily, rushing over to hug his brother. "When did you get here?"

"Just now. I was looking for you and I found these villains scheming."

Sportacus frowned, looking around. He took note of the small space that connected the park to the plaza. Seeing the skeleton, Sportacus' eyes sparkled even more brightly, his lips parting so his teeth could twinkle merrily. Sportacus turned to Ípróttálfurrin, shaking his head.

"Robbie was just fixing one of his Halloween tricks. Robbie, that skeleton looks very natural! I'm sure the kids will love it, once they get over the fright."

"You're encouraging this?" Ípróttálfurrin asked, surprised.

"Of course! I always encourage Robbie to play and spend time with the kids. They're looking forward to seeing what he comes up with this year!" Sportacus asked, frowning, confused.

Robbie gave a tired sigh, crossing his arms across his own chest, slumping down. He stared hard at Ípróttálfurrin, his front teeth clenched together.

"NOW, can we get on with things?"

"Robbie, please. Will you introduce me to your other friends?"

Robbie sighed, but his teeth unclenched and the corners of his lips turned minutely upwards.

"This is my brother, Glanni Glaepur, and this is...Benty. He's Glanni's friend."

"I'm Sportacus. Welcome to Lazy Town!"

Glanni just blinked at him for a moment, frowning slightly. He looked to Robbie, but received only a shrug and a shooing motion from his brother's hand.

"Um. Okay. Thank you?"

"Nice to meet ya," Beetlejuice agreed, gruffly, lighting up a cigarette.

"Mr. Ben..." Sportacus stopped, looking between Beetlejuice and Robbie, his lips quirking in a wry grin. "I'm sorry. What's your name?"

"Ben Justin."

"Ben, please make sure you pick up any butts and don't smoke in front of the children. We try to encourage them away from unhealthy habits," Sportacus explained.

Beetlejuice took a long drag on his cigarette, then made it disappear, smirking.

"Good enough for ya?"

"Thank you," Sportacus said, sincerely, ignoring the subtle sarcasm. "Ípróttálfurrin, why don't we go finish the soccer game? I want to introduce you to the kids. Oh! Robbie? Will it be okay, if my brother helps out tonight, too?"

"Yeah, fine," Robbie agreed. "Just get him to lighten up, okay?"

"I'll talk to him," Sportacus agreed. "Come on!"

Ípróttálfurrin walked slowly behind his brother, throwing unhappy glances back over his shoulder. The sight of the three pranksters filled him with foreboding. Glanni was enough of a menace on his own!

"What did you agree to help him with?" Ípróttálfurrin demanded, once he felt they were out of earshot.

"He's going to put decorations on my airship, so it will look like a scary bat."

Ípróttálfurrin stopped, turning Sportacus to face him.

"What are you up to? Please tell me you have a sensible reason for indulging this villain!"

"Indulge?" Sportacus repeated, his own voice firming. "He's not a child. He doesn't need my permission to live as he likes."

"You're the hero. That carries authority, no matter how gently applied."

"A hero is not a dictator. The idea is to teach and to help, not control."

"Ah? And what of the children? You must keep his laziness and sugar addiction from influencing them! Sportacus. We all know of him and his ways."

"You know _of_ him. I know him. I talk to him."

"You didn't answer my question."

"When he tries to get rid of the sportscandy or stop the kids from playing, then I step in. I stop his schemes, yes. I will not stop him from having fun."

"I'm worried about you," Ípróttálfurrin admitted. "You seem almost taken in by Rotten. Something is wrong here and you don't see it."

"Ípró," Sportacus sighed, then smiled gently. "Everything is fine! There's more to Robbie than just villainy, but I'm not blind to his faults. We've become friends."

Ípróttálfurrin stared, disbelieving, his eyes wide, then gave his own sigh, his shoulders slumping.

"You are far too lenient."

"And you are too strict and close-minded. People have to be allowed to choose. Not everyone is comfortable with the same regimen."

Ípróttálfurrin threw himself into a series of flips, every movement tight with frustration that only slowly eased.

"So, you'll help him play pranks, but you won't help him live a healthier life?"

"I've given him advice and he rejected it. Even the word healthy disgusts him."

"Well, that says volumes about him!"

"To be fair, he's never tried to stop me from being healthy."

"He referred to us as 'flip floppy elves.'"

"He's not actually wrong. He just doesn't like sudden movements. Ípró. I want you to be kind to him."

"Am I unkind, now?" Ípróttálfurrin asked, hurt.

"No, but Nine was and it's what Robbie expects. It took me a long time to prove I wasn't like that."

"Have you heard Nine's side of the story?"

"No," Sportacus admitted. "But, I don't believe Robbie was lying. Have you spoken to Nine about him?"

"No, but I think one of us should."

"You can, but I want you to give Robbie a chance, no matter what Nine says."

"All right, enough! Tell me what's really happening here. What's going on with you and Robbie?"

"I did tell you. We're friends now."

Ípróttálfurrin wanted to argue further, but they had reached the sports field. The kids swarmed them, eager for introductions. Their enthusiasm, when they learned Ípróttálfurrin was Sportacus' brother, was contagious. They soon split into teams, Pixel and Trixie siding with Ípróttálfurrin against Sportacus, Stephanie, Stingy, and Ziggy. Focusing on the game, Ípróttálfurrin forgot about Robbie and Glanni, until the sun began to set. Robbie showed up, just as Ziggy shot the winning goal.

"Well done, Candy boy," Robbie said, smirking.

"Hi, Robbie! Are you gonna play?" Ziggy asked. "Have you met Ípró?"

"I have, indeed. Now, run along home. It's suppertime," Robbie instructed, mildly.

"Ooo, SUPPERTIME!" Ziggy crowed happily. "See you guys later!"

"Zig-gy!" Stephanie said, exasperated, watching him run off. She sighed, then laughed. "Well, I guess it is getting late. I'll see you later, Sportacus. It was nice meeting you Ípró."

"Good night, Stephanie."

Ípróttálfurrin watched the kids wander off to their homes, then turned to Robbie, trying to appear friendly and relaxed.

"Hello, again, Robbie. Sportacus says we're helping you decorate his ship."

"That's right," Robbie agreed, happily. "I have all the stuff in place. We're ready when you two are."

"We're right behind you!" Sportacus assured him, grinning.

Robbie led them to a space below the airship that was usually clear. For now, it held a bunch of ropes, some mechanical gadgets, a giant bat's head, and a pair of wings. The promised sticky paper was folded neatly on a table nearby. Everything else was piled on tarps, to protect them from the wet grass, mud, and even puddles of water. Glanni and Beetlejuice stood near the table, eating candy and chatting.

"Heads up, boys! I found the elves," Robbie boasted. "Let's get this started. We only have two hours, until their bed time."

"And, when is your bedtime?" Ípróttálfurrin asked, dryly.

"Whenever my body and mind decide, collectively, to cooperate."

"Ípró," Sportacus interrupted, shaking his head. "Come on."

"Sorry, sorry," Ípróttálfurrin conceded. "So! What do we do first?"

"First, I need you limber, jock types, to go on top of the ship," Robbie said. "We're going to attach the head first. It's programmed to help attach the wings and will magnetize the paper, to help form fit it to the ship."

"Okay," Sportacus agreed. "Ladder!"

Ípróttálfurrin waited for Sportacus to get a few feet ahead of him, then began climbing the ladder. He only got a few feet off the ground, when his hands encountered a slick, slightly sticky, substance on the rungs and sides of the ladder. Caught by surprise, Ípróttálfurrin slipped and fell. He landed on his back in a mud puddle that he swore hadn't been so large, before. The cold, murky water came up to his shoulders, leaving him shivering. Hauling himself up, he glared at the villains. Glanni and Beetlejuice were howling with laughter, leaning against the table. Robbie's snickers were quieter, but his amusement was clear.

"You okay there, He Throttles Elves?" Robbie asked with sarcastic concern.

Before Ípróttálfurrin could respond, Sportacus appeared, somersaulting down from the ladder and landing on his feet.

"Are you all right?" he asked, far more sincerely than Robbie.

"Nothing a little elf magic can't fix," Ípróttálfurrin declared, filling the air with a sudden, warm breeze. A few flips and handstands later, he was dry.

"Nice job, 'He Throttle Elves,'" Glanni choked out, between guffaws.

"He throttles elves?" Sportacus repeated, bewildered.

"Your friend's nickname for me."

"Ah! Robbie. It's EE-throw-towel-vurin."

"I like He Throttles Elves better," Beetlejuice said. "Though, what mom names her kid either one?"

"The same one who names her other kid Sportacus," Robbie said, shrugging. "No offense, Sportapal."

"Our mother, in fact," Ípróttálfurrin berated.

"I'm sure she's lovely?" Robbie hedged, looking sideways to avoid the elves' eyes.

"She is," Sportacus agreed. "Maybe, someday, you'll get to meet her."

"Yes, I'm sure she'd know exactly how to handle someone asking favors, then playing pranks."

"Ípró, Robbie didn't do this."

"He didn't?" Robbie asked, astonished.

"No," Sportacus assured him, laughing. "The slime on the ladder is green and rather dirty. If Robbie had done it, the slime would have been clean and purple."

"True. So, uh, what would your mom do about the prank?"

"Nothing too scary. She's just good at helping people see other points of view."

"That doesn't sound too bad."

"No. Robbie? What would your mom have done?"

"Sporty. My mom would probably have been the prank's mastermind."

Sportacus stared for a moment, then burst into laughter, gently clapping Robbie on the shoulder.

"Ack! Okay, enough, no more pranks for now. I want to get this done. I'm sure one of the kids will see it tonight, if we hurry!"

"All right. Up we go!" Sportacus agreed, leaping and climbing back up, followed by Ípróttálfurrin.

Glanni moved in front of the ladder, watching the heroes ascend. Robbie followed his gaze and got a very prominent view of Ípróttálfurrin's muscular tush. Raising an eyebrow, Robbie turned to Glanni.

"Do you want to talk?"

"You've met him," Glanni sulked. "There's nothing to talk about."

Robbie sighed, grumpily, gently grabbing and rubbing the back of Glanni's neck.

"Come on, kitten. Cheer up. He can't be a complete wet blanket. He's related to Sportacus and _he_ 's willing to have fun with us."

"He is, though. If it doesn't involve bouncing around, then he just isn't interested."

"Well, I can think of one type of bouncing around that's fun," Beetlejuice suggested, leering.

All three burst into laughter.

"Come on. We gotta send up the head," Robbie instructed.

"Now, there's a thought," Glanni snickered. "He might cheer up, if someone gave him..."

"ROBBIE!" Sportacus shouted, from the top, dropping something from the top of the ship. "HERE'S A ROPE!"

"Save that thought for later," Robbie advised, taking the end of the offered rope and tying it to the bat's head, then yanking, when it was ready.

Sportacus hauled the rope up, giving quick glances at Ípróttálfurrin. He couldn't help smiling. His brother stood, leaning far out from the airship and staring intently down at the others. It didn't take Robbie's caliber of genius, to figure out who Ípróttálfurrin was glaring at.

"Is something wrong?"

"They're laughing about something."

"Laughing," Sportacus said somberly, his eyes twinkling. "Very villainous. We better keep our eyes on that. It might even be contagious."

"They're villains," Ípróttálfurrin insisted. "I can't believe how trusting you're being!"

"Mmhmm," Sportacus agreed. "You like Glanni, don't you?"

"NO!" Ípróttálfurrin barked, quick and sharp, then blushed under Sportacus' knowing and patient gaze. "Glanni is dangerous. I never let myself forget that. He poisoned the entire town once."

"You said yourself it wasn't even really poison...just a laxative and something to create spots. He wanted to trick people, not harm them."

"Why are you making excuses for him?!"

"I'm not. He's a villain and you did well to stop him. But, you do like him and you don't need to be so hard on yourself for it."

"Do you actually _trust_ this new friend of yours?"

"Not always," Sportacus admitted, grinning, grabbing hold of the bat's head and releasing the rope. "Help me get this into place."

Ípróttálfurrin sighed, helping wrestle the head into place on the top of the ship.

"Your Robbie certainly is talented. I'll give him that much."

"He is," Sportacus agreed, chuckling. "He's very imaginative."

"Glanni likes to sing. He even sings with the children sometimes. They're not usually nice songs. He's taught them a few 'insult songs' to taunt each other with. They're no longer allowed to sing "The Song that Doesn't End" on school days. Still. He's almost nice to them...sometimes."

"It'd be simpler, if they would just be villains, not complicated, actual _people_ ," Sportacus said dryly, throwing the rope back down. "It wouldn't be better, but it would be simpler."

"Or they could just not be villains!" Ípróttálfurrin corrected.

"Could they? I _would_ like that for Robbie, but only if he remained himself."

Ípróttálfurrin made a choked, scoffing sound in the back of his throat, hauling the rope back up, with the sticky paper. Sportacus silently attached the paper to the bat's head, as Ípróttálfurrin draped it all around the ship. When all the paper was attached, a button started flashing on the back of the bat's neck. Sportacus pushed the button and the paper tightened, form fitting to the ship and covering it entirely. Sportacus grinned, impressed all over again with Robbie's ingenuity, throwing the rope back down.

"Well, that just leaves the wings!"

"You're letting Robbie Rotten attach wings to your airship. You have no idea what he programmed them to do," Ípróttálfurrin conceded. "How do you know the wings won't fly you off somewhere...like the bottom of the ocean?"

"Robbie wanted to make me leave town, not kill me," Sportacus said flatly. "He hasn't even given me a sugar apple, since we became friends. There is value in compromise, Ípróttálfurrin."

"Good shouldn't compromise with evil."

"I thought we agreed they're people, not walking evil."

"He doesn't deserve your trust!"

"And, apparently, I don't deserve yours."

Ípróttálfurrin flinched, his gaze stricken.

"Sportacus, that isn't true," he rasped.

Sportacus silently began hauling the rope back up, waiting a few moments, before responding.

"We aren't going to settle this right now. I'm only asking you to observe. Talk to him, without provoking him. Judge him, if you must, by himself, not his reputation."

"I will," Ípróttálfurrin promised, more thoroughly scolded than Sportacus had intended.

"Also," Sportacus continued, smiling gently again, "try to let yourself have some fun."

"All right," Ípróttálfurrin laughed, taking one giant wing from Sportacus.

A beam of light shot out from the bat's head, laying a pattern on the ship, showing where the wing should be attached. Sportacus grinned, sending the rope down a final time. It only took a few minutes to attach each wing. Ípróttálfurrin looked down, as he finished tightening the bands on the first wing, seeing Robbie pull, from somewhere, a giant bullhorn.

"ELVES! GET DOWN HERE. YOU GOTTA SEE THIS," Robbie shouted.

"Go ahead," Sportacus urged. "I'm almost done."

Ípróttálfurrin slid down the ladder, doing a flip down to the ground, about fifteen feet from the bottom. He straightened, grinning, to find Robbie glaring at him, his arms folded across his chest.

"I'm gonna say this once," Robbie intoned. "Back off of him."

"Never," Ípróttálfurrin promised. "Glanni's a villain and it's my job to protect people from him."

"Glanni? What?" Robbie asked, perplexed, before huffing impatiently. "I'm not talking about Glanni! HE can take care of himself. I mean Sportacus! He's having fun, FINALLY, and I don't need you interfering. What do you want from him, anyways?"

"He's my little brother," Ípróttálfurrin stated calmly, spreading his hands, as if that explained everything.

Perhaps it did, because Robbie's expression softened, his eyes darting to get a quick look at Glanni, before focusing on Ípróttálfurrin again. Robbie sighed, shaking his hands in the air in frustration.

"Well, FINE! Whatever. I mean, I just spent years trying to run him out of town, that's all. I fed him sugar apples and shot him out of a cannon. Where were you then? And, now, NOW, when we're _friends_ , you show up."

"Why?" Ípróttálfurrin asked. "Why work so hard to chase him away, then decide to be his friend?"

"Have you met your brother?" Robbie scoffed.

"It's rude to answer a question with a question," Glanni said primly, then frowned. "Right?"

"Yes, it is," Sportacus agreed, landing beside Ípróttálfurrin. "What's the question?"

"Nothing," Robbie assured him. "Your brother's timing is just a bit off."

"Ah."

"Come on, now! Come look!" Robbie urged, waving his arms in a grand fashion.

Everyone silently clustered together, staring up at their work. Sportacus whistled. It looked almost exactly as Robbie had imagined it. The bat's eyes beamed through the night's darkness, tinted just slightly red. The moon illuminated the bat, revealing the steady beating of the wings. A few clouds drifted by, their gloomy power challenged, as the bat seemed to snap maliciously at them.

Robbie watched his creation, stepping forward to drape an arm around Sportacus' shoulder and resting his chin on the other. A pleased sound rumbled up from his chest to his throat.

"Thank you, Sportacus," Robbie said, with simple sincerity.

"You're welcome. You did a magnificent job."

"I don't just mean that. I...you trusted me. Green goo, purple goo. Whatever. I could have done it, but you trusted me. I didn't expect you to. I...didn't expect to _want_ you to."

"Sometimes you deserve trust. You do good things, too. Like decorating the ship. The kids are going to love it. It's scary, yes, but it's beautiful, too."

"Hmmmm. It's nice to have my talents appreciated for once."

"We always appreciate your talents, Robbie, just not always what you use them for," Sportacus corrected.

Robbie chuckled into Sportacus' ear, making him shiver slightly.

"I could make you a warm shirt, with sleeves that would still let you flip flop."

"I'm not cold," Sportacus assured him, amused.

Robbie chuckled again, a big longer and deeper, drawing answering laughter from Sportacus, who squirmed slightly. With a huff, Glanni stalked over, pushing and wriggling against both men, finally challenging Sportacus with a deep, unfriendly growl. Sportacus stepped away, confused. With a smirk, Glanni took Sportacus' place in front of Robbie, leaning possessively back against the other villain. Sportacus just gave a wry grin, while Robbie shook his head.

"You are a BRAT," Robbie told Glanni, firmly.

"That's your fault," he said, dismissively.

"Won't this be a bit much for the smaller children?" Ípróttálfurrin worried.

"They're all in bed!" Robbie protested. "They'll see it in daylight and realize it's nothing too scary."

A high-pitched scream sounded through the street and two crystals started flashing and beeping.

"It's Ziggy!" Sportacus said. "He's in trouble."

"Well, they're supposed to be asleep, anyway," Robbie clarified, shrugging.

"Is that him?" Ípróttálfurrin asked, pointing towards Ziggy's house.

Sure enough, Ziggy came running toward them, as fast his legs would carry him. He was wearing his pajamas, but had tossed his superhero cape around his shoulders. He skidded to a stop in the midst of the adults and pointed up at the bat.

"B-bat! There's a bat!"

"Yes, we know Ziggy," Sportacus said soothingly. "We..."

"NO!" Ziggy interrupted, still gasping for breath. "Y-you don't understand. Lazy Town is h-haunted! There was a ghost earlier. Now there's a bat. WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!"

"Whoa, okay, kid, calm down!" Robbie instructed, amazed.

"ROBBIE!" Ziggy cried out, launching himself at the villain and clinging to his leg. "You gotta do something! Ghosts aren't lazy and don't eat candy, right? Make them leave town FOREVER."

"Hey, now, what makes you think ghosts don't like candy?" Beetlejuice protested.

"Huh?" Ziggy asked, looking hard at Beetlejuice, then recoiled a bit. "Well, I guess a villain might like having the town haunted. We need a superhero! No, no, ghosts can't go to prison or be taught to like sportscandy."

"That's a definite point in their favor," Glanni agreed.

"Well, if a superhero and a villain can't help, then we need...a-a priest!" Ziggy decided, happily. "They know about spirits and all. Or, one of those, um, like that movie I'm not allowed to watch? An eggo-ist?"

"Exorcist!" Beetlejuice and Robbie both scolded.

"Ziggy, please calm down," Sportacus urged. "There are no ghosts."

"But, there are! I saw it. It had this huge head, that just grew and grew and grew and then BLEW UP! Then, it turned into a giant snake and I was so scared! What if the snake became a bat?"

"You know what? I think I know someone who can help," Robbie said, sighing. "I'll go get him."

Robbie disappeared, teleporting directly to his lair.

"Who is he going to get?" Ípróttálfurrin asked, frowning.

"With Robbie, you never can know," Sportacus replied, chuckling helplessly.

"I hope it's someone who knows a LOT about ghosts and bats," Ziggy whimpered.

"Ziggy, that isn't a real bat..."

"No, it's a GHOST BAT!" Ziggy persisted, shivering.

"Well, there's some debate, whether or not animals have souls," a deep, calm voice answered.

Ziggy turned in surprise, seeing a stranger approaching. The man was wearing a soft, purple sweater, over a cream colored, collared shirt and chocolate colored trousers. The trousers were almost as dark as the soft curls that fell gently around the man's face. A silver cross hung from a chain around his neck. Ziggy relaxed as the man glided towards them, smiling warmly.

"My name is Brian Bellamo," he greeted, kneeling down to Ziggy's level, facing him. "What is your name, my little lamb?"

"I'm Ziggy."

"Well, Ziggy, as a man of the cloth, I think I might be able to help you with your ghost."

"Are you a priest? Can you get rid of ghosts?"

"Well, close enough. I'm a preacher, at least. Now, let's go sit down and we'll talk about ghosts."

"Okay," Ziggy agreed, dashing toward the nearest bench, though Sportacus noticed he gave Ben a wide berth.

Brian sat next to Ziggy, brushing the boy's sleep-mussed hair back from his face.

"So. You're afraid of ghosts?"

"Y-yeah?" Ziggy asked. "Aren't you?"

"No, but I know something about ghosts that most people seem to forget."

"Ohhh? What, what?"

"They began as ordinary people."

"B-but, aren't ghosts _bad_?"

"Some certainly are. A person who is bad in life, will be bad in death, too. But, what if the person was good?"

"Oh. I, uh, I hadn't thought of that."

"Have you lost anyone? A grandparent perhaps?"

"Uh, no. My uncle Leo takes care of my mom's parents and my dad's parents look after themselves."

Brian gave a rich laugh, shrugging.

"Well, you're a fortunate little lamb then. But, sad as it might be, try to imagine, if someone you loved or trusted were to die. Would that make you afraid of them?"

"Uh, we-elll..."

"Take our town hero. If he became a ghost, would that make him scary? You certainly don't fear him now, I trust."

"Me? Afraid of Sportacus? Pfffft," Ziggy laughed. "He's my friend!"

"So, would you trust him, if he were a ghost?"

"Well. Um, YES! Yes, I would."

"That's a good little lamb. So, you see, ghosts aren't scary. Strangers might be, but not just because they're ghosts."

"Is there a way to tell a good ghost, from a bad ghost?"

"Oh, the same way you tell about anyone else, I suppose. Why?"

Ziggy leaned into the man, trying to whisper into his ear.

"I think that guy in the suit is a ghost. He has the same face as the ghost that went kablooie earlier today."

"Well, even a ghost can like a prank, without being a terrible person."

"Okay, but what about the bat?"

"Ziggy, the bat is my airship!" Sportacus explained. "Robbie decorated it for Halloween."

"Really?!" Ziggy said, eyes going wide, as he looked back up at the bat. Finally, he laughed. "Oh, wow! That is so cool!"

"I'm glad you think so," Brian said, then coughed. "So. Are you still afraid?"

"No. I feel a lot better!"

"Good. Now, it's late and time for good little lambs to be in bed."

"Oh, yeah. Okay. Good night, Mr. Bellamo. Good night, Sportacus, everyone. See you tomorrow," Ziggy said hopping down from the bench.

"Good night, Ziggy!"

Ziggy darted off home, disappearing into the shadows. Brian laughed and ran his fingers through his hair, a bit of magic straightening his curls. A snap of his fingers and "Brian" was gone, Robbie Rotten revealed in his place.

"Robbie!" everyone, but Glanni gasped.

"Why are you people even surprised?" Glanni asked, rolling his eyes.

"You comforted the boy. Why?" Ípróttálfurrin asked.

"Because, I felt like it."

"Why in disguise?"

"It just makes some things easier. For some strange reason, those kids always trust my disguises, obvious as some of them are."

"That was well done," Ípróttálfurrin admitted, his friendly smile finally completely sincere.

"Well, thank you!" Robbie conceded, grandly.

"Good job, Robbie," Sportacus said, proudly. "And, now, I really do need to get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow. Good night!"

"Yes, I need to rest, too," Ípróttálfurrin agreed. "Good night. It was nice meeting you, Robbie. You, too, Ben. Good night, Glanni."

"Uh, yeah, sure," Robbie agreed. "Good night."

"G'night, Ípro. Well, now, what?" Glanni asked, as soon as the elves were gone.

"Are you kidding me?! You bring me a real, dead ghost and you gotta ask? We're gonna make this the scariest Halloween ever!"

"You're taking the kids' word that I'm a ghost?" Beetlejuice asked, amused.

"The kid just confirmed it," Robbie told him. "I always learn whatever my disguise characters should know. Besides, I know what ghost magic feels like."

"He's villain number one for a reason," Glanni said proudly.

"Yes, I am! Now, come on. The moonlight is wasting!"


	5. A Few Little Nudges

Sportacus did a flip in the air, just high enough to escape the trio of snowballs that came at him, from three different directions. He landed, laughing, and scooped up his own handful of snow. Listening intently, he selected a target, lobbing his snowball carefully, so it landed behind a nearby bush. Trixie's laughter, a bit higher pitched than usual, rang out. Laughing, Sportacus approached her, peering down at her over the foilage.

"Hello there!"

"Hi, Sportacus!" Trixie said, laughing. "We almost had you that time."

"You almost did," Sportacus agreed. "Now, you promised to go do your homework, after the snowball fight."

"Ohhhh, okay," Trixie agreed, reluctantly. "Come on, Stephanie. Stingy, we gotta go! We need to work on our project."

"Have fun creating playlists for your fairy tales!"

Turning, Sportacus noticed Robbie lounging on a bench nearby. He was wearing his usual, striped scarf and gloves. Sportacus wasn't sure, if Robbie was wearing a coat or not. He was wrapped from knees to neck in a large, thick blanket. A thermos and a clear, plastic container of cookies were next to him on the bench. Robbie stared at the messy snow with disdainful amusement.

"Well, that looked fun," Robbie said, sarcastically, tugging the blanket tighter around him.

"It was!" Sportacus agreed, ignoring Robbie's tone. "Why don't you come out from there? I'll help you practice your aim. Surely, hitting people with snowballs is villainous enough?"

"Sure. I'm still not doing it, though."

"Robbie. You can't spend all winter wrapped up in a blanket!"

"You underestimate me, Sportawrong. I can and I intend to."

Sportacus frowned, shaking his head.

"Robbie, remember, I said I can't promise to not give advice?"

"Vaguely?"

"Well, I'm giving some. You need to move around in winter. You'll be warmer and sleep better. And, if you let it, it can be a lot of fun!"

"Look, Sportasport," Robbie said, burying his face in the steam from his cup. "I get that sports are important to you. You want everyone to hop on the sports train. Well, I'm not going to. Sports are tedious and boring and I'm horrible at them. No amount of practice and elfish good will is going to change that."

Robbie looked up with an impish smile and was surprised to see Sportacus radiating hurt and anger.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Is that really what you think?" Sportacus asked, tiredly, his voice tight. "You think I care about sports and want people to play them, because they're so important to me?"

"...yes?"

"Then, you don't understand me at all!"

"But...you're always promoting sports!" Robbie protested.

"No. I promote people being active. Robbie, moving around strengthens the body, in a lot of ways. In the majority of people, it can prevent sickness and help them live easier, longer lives. But, people aren't going to move around or be happy doing it, if it's not fun!"

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying sports aren't important to me. You are! You, the kids, and the others are what matters, not the sports. Those are just a means to an end. By teaching the kids and others to enjoy sports, I'm giving them a way to stay active that will make them happy and not just be a chore."

"But, they aren't fun!" Robbie complained. "I don't know how you've managed to convince so many people that they are."

"I didn't convince anyone. They decided that for themselves. Do you think the kids are _faking_ having fun? Just to please me?"

"No, of course not. But, Sporty, I've done the sports thing, especially when I was a kid. For me, it's the exact opposite of fun."

Sportacus sighed, coming and sitting on the opposite side of the cookies.

"I know, Robbie. I wasn't trying to push you to enjoy sports. I just thought throwing snowballs was, well, it's not like there are a lot of rules or structure."

"I"m perfectly capable of learning rules..."

"Yes, you just don't like them."

"SPORT. The rules are _not the problem_. I just don't _like_ sports."

"And, so, I'm trying to find something active, that you can enjoy. You're active during your schemes. You enjoy those, the inventing and all. You enjoy dancing!"

"I do NOT!" Robbie said, scandalized, making Sportacus laugh.

"Oh, come on, Robbie. You've danced with the kids, and even me, plenty of times, when in disguise. Your schemes would have worked just as well, without that."

"All right, fine. But, it's not something I'm going to do every day!"

"Well, you need to do something. I worry for you, Robbie."

"You shouldn't. Stress isn't good for you, Sportamom."

"There is one other activity I was hoping to talk you into."

"What?" Robbie said, folding his arms over his chest.

"The town Christmas party is going to include a dance this year, so it's being held in the gymnasium. The mayor asked me to decorate the outside."

"Decorate it how? String lights?"

"Lights, yes, but there's also wreaths and garlands. There's a nativity scene and some other things. I haven't gone through all of it."

"When do you want to do this?"

"Anytime today or tomorrow."

"Tomorrow, bah! We might as well get it over with, while the brats are occupied. The cookies and hot chocolate are yours, by the way."

"Oh? Thank you, Robbie!"

"Well, _someone_ has to introduce you to the finer things in life."

"I appreciate your efforts," Sportacus assured him.

Sportacus and Robbie were soon hauling decorations and supplies from the town hall basement to the front of the gymnasium. On the last trip, Robbie found a portable cd player, with a Christmas cd inside. He brought it along, filling the work area with a mix of ancient carols and modern Christmas hits. As they worked, shoppers and people going to and from work stopped and watched the area grow more and more beautiful. Some couples stopped, dancing or singing to the music, including Nancy Candid and her husband.

"Hello, Sportacus. This is my husband, Tommy. Tommy, this is Sportacus and you know Robbie, of course."

"Hi, guys. Good to meet you, Sportacus," Tommy said cheerfully. Standing slightly behind Nancy, he wrapped his arms around her waist, resting their heads together.

"Where's Danny?" Robbie asked, frowning.

"He's with my parents," Nancy assured him, giggling a bit. "Tommy and I are having some mommy and daddy time to do some Christmas shopping, pick out our tree, that sort of thing."

"That sounds like great fun," Sportacus said, grinning.

"It is," Tommy agreed, exchanging warm smiles with Nancy, who patted his hands, snuggling a bit deeper into his arms.

Robbie rolled his eyes, turning slightly away to make a gagging face.

"Well, you two have fun with that," he said with sarcastic cheer, making a shooing motion with his hand. The couple just laughed, taking the hint and waving good-bye.

Robbie turned to make a crack about idiots in love, but stopped, when he saw Sportacus. The hero was staring after the young couple, his gaze focused on their arms, locked comfortably together. A small smile lifted the corners of his lips, but his mustache was drooping and his bright blue eyes were dimmer than usual.

"Okay, what's with the face?" Robbie demanded. "They were annoying, sure..."

"Robbie," Sportacus interrupted, scolding slightly. "It's nice to be in love at Christmas. They're happy!"

"Well, you aren't, so what's up? You're not the jealous type."

"Of course not! I'm very happy for them."

"So, what is it? Ohhhhh! Sportabuddy! Are you _pining_?" Robbie teased.

Sportacus shook his head, forcing a chuckle. He turned back to the garland he was placing over the door, not meeting Robbie's eyes.

"You-you ARE! You have a crush!" Robbie declared, astonished and a bit worried. "Well, come on."

"Come on, what?" Sportacus asked, warily.

Blowing a raspberry, Robbie grabbed Sportacus' arm, pulling him to sit on the steps of the gymnasium.

"Sport, I'm your best friend! We're supposed to tell each other these things. So, spill it! Who's the lucky person?"

"Robbie, yes, but...it's complicated."

"Affairs of the heart are messy, yes."

"No! It's..." Sportacus floundered, then took a deep breath, summoning his considerable courage. "It's you."

"She objects to me?! Well. I am the town villain..."

"Robbie, no," Sportacus pleaded, laughing. "Not her, it's he. It's you!"

Robbie hesitated, his nose twitching uncertainly. He pointed at himself.

"You l-want...me?"

"Yes," Sportacus affirmed, smiling sadly.

"What, we became friends, so you went and fell in love with me?"

"Actually...I already had feelings for you," Sportacus admitted, a bit shamed. "I hoped, if we could be friends, maybe you would return them."

"Y-you fell in love with me, when I was giving you sugar meltdowns and shooting you out of cannons?"

Sportacus laughed ruefully, shrugging.

"That is one way to look at it, I guess."

"I'm starting think Ípró has a point. Your self preservation needs some work."

"You don't have to side with my older brother, just because you are one."

"Whatever. So, you want what? To date me?"

"I would love to go on a date with you," Sportacus agreed, too focused on Robbie to hear the small gasp that came from the gymnasium door.

"I don't really get dating. We already spend time together as friends. How is dating different?"

"Ah. Intent, I suppose."

"Arrrrgh! The difference between dating and being friends is KISSING!" Stingy scolded, making both men jump, turning to face him.

"What are you doing here, Stinky?"

"Piggy and I were swimming, obviously. And it's STINGY."

"Whatever. Sport and I aren't kissing right here and now, just because some brat says so!"

"Of course not," Stingy said, rolling his eyes, beginning to shake with exasperation. "You haven't even been on a first date, yet!"

"We haven't even decided what we would _do_ on a first date!"

"The Christmas dance _is_ _**Saturday**_! What could be more perfect than that?!" Stingy exploded, his breath coming in pants.

"Stingy," Sportacus said soothingly. "I appreciate you trying to help, but Robbie and I need to talk this out on our own, okay? Technically, he hasn't even agreed to _go_ on a date with me."

Robbie and Stingy both rolled their eyes at him.

"Of course, I'm going to go on a date with you, Sportaloon!" Robbie grumbled. "See, we're making progress. You can go now, kid. We got this."

"Just see that you treat MY hero well," Stingy ordered, stomping past them to hurry down the street.

"I hate it when those brats are right," Robbie sulked, then gave a resigned sigh. "But, he is. I mean...if that sounds good to you?"

"I think it's a very good idea."

Robbie cleared his throat, his gaze wandering away, to rest on the decorations.

"Yes. Well! We better finish getting this stuff up then," he declared, wanting nothing more than to be back in his lair, with some cake and hot cocoa, so he could process everything.

"Of course," Sportacus agreed, running a gentle hand over Robbie's shoulder, before standing and getting back to work.

Despite his nervousness, Robbie looked forward to the date. He began preparing hours early, so his nerves wouldn't make him late. Choosing his outfit carefully, Robbie kept to his favorite color scheme. His pants and suit coat were a purple so dark, they would look black to all but the keenest eyes. His satin shirt was a dark grape. Somewhere between orange and gold, his tie glittered slightly. For just a moment, he feared he was over-dressed, but shrugged the thought off. Sportajock might come in his regular outfit, but not Robbie Rotten!

Robbie got to the party a mere twenty minutes after it started and began looking for Sportacus. He scanned the immediate area, but didn't see any sign of his date's blue hat and goggles. Weaving awkwardly around the other guests, Robbie began circling around, half hoping Sportacus would find him, instead. He brushed up against another guest, someone with soft, blond curls, and frowned. Someone had a boyfriend from out of town, apparently.

"Pardon," he said, brusquely, once more scanning the room.

"Robbie?"

Robbie blinked, surprised to hear Sportacus' voice so close by.

"Sporty?" he asked, looking around, a bit wildly.

"Robbie, I'm right in front of you," Sportacus said, chuckling lightly. "Do I look that different?"

Robbie paused, then turned to face the man with _blond curls_. He openly gaped. Sure enough, it was Sportacus, his silly mustache twitching in amusement.

"Yes, yes, you do SportaBLOND! How long have you had blond curls? Why did I never know this?!"

"Um, I don't know why. I always have?" Sportacus answered, bewildered by his date's reaction.

Disregarding all concepts of personal space, Robbie reached out and began playing with Sportacus' hair, curling a blond lock around one, long finger. Sportacus smiled, patiently.

"Robbie?"

"Y-you do realize your hats will never be safe again, right? I'm making their destruction my new priority!"

"What?" Sportacus said, mystified. "Why?"

"Because, you have all these CURLS and that hat! Okay, you're a fashion nightmare, in any case, yes, but I thought...it didn't seem like a big deal. Best case scenario was you had straight, brown hair. Boring, but eh. You're handsome enough to pull it off. _Worse case_ scenario, I thought you might have some dreadful military cut, bleagh! But, NO! You have all these soft, soft curls. Your hats are a TRAVESTY!"

"What would you have done, if I had a military cut?" Sportacus asked, back to being amused.

"I'm your boyfriend now, right? I was just gonna be a nuisance and get you to grow it out."

"I see. Robbie, I sort of _need_ my hat. It keeps my hair out of my eyes. Anyway, what would I do with my goggles, without my hat?"

"Keep them in your backpack, along with half the sports equipment in Lazy Town," Robbie said, unsympathetically. "Also, the fashion nightmare thing only applies to your normal clothes. What you're wearing now is pretty sharp."

It actually was and Robbie was suitably impressed. Sportacus was wearing black dress pants and a matching jacket, fastened with one button. His dress shirt was cobalt blue, with a metallic sheen. Even his tie was in good taste, something Robbie would have bet against. But, the neck piece was a slightly darker blue, with a small, gold pin in the center. Robbie's only objection, that he didn't bother voicing, was that the pin was a tiny soccer ball.

"Thank you, Robbie," Sportacus said, his smile wide and his cheeks faintly pink.

"Sure. So, uh. What are we supposed to be doing now?"

"Well, there's food. And dancing, of course. Would you like to dance with me?"

"Oh, that's right. It's a dance. Yeah, yeah, I would," Robbie assured him hastily.

Sportacus just grinned, reaching up and removing Robbie's hand from his hair, then led him into the ball room.

"You look great, too," Sportacus said, as he put his hands on Robbie's waist and shoulder.

"I always look good," Robbie said, reflexively, blushing slightly at touching Sportacus this way as himself.

"That's true," Sportacus agreed, ruefully, shaking his head fondly.

Robbie almost screamed in frustration, when Sportacus' crystal started beeping, shining out from his inside coat pocket.

"You're wearing that thing?! Who manages to get into trouble this early into a party?!"

"Trixie," Sportacus answered, pointing up.

Frowning, Robbie looked up to see Trixie dangling precariously from one of the rafters. She had something in one of her hands, that she dropped. It nearly hit him in the face. Bending, Robbie picked up the odd bit of plant, a few, long leaves on a stem, with a small cluster of white berries. He bent and sniffed curiously at them, but there was no scent. Sportacus ignored him, flipping over to a nearby wall and tearing off a long length of garland. He managed to throw the decoration over the rafter and climbed up it. Grabbing Trixie, he jumped nimbly back to the ground.

"She okay?" Robbie asked Sportacus, but didn't wait for an answer. He shook the bit of shrubbery in Trixie's face. "You risked your neck to hang THIS? Some silly bit of vegetation? How did you even get up there?"

"Someone left a ladder by the wall. That is mistletoe!" Trixie told him, rolling her eyes.

"Okay. So?" Robbie asked, confused, especially when Sportacus sighed, sending Trixie a scolding look.

"Hanging mistletoe is part of Christmas," he explained. "Traditionally, if two people stand under it together, they're supposed to kiss."

Robbie slumped.

"You've GOT to be kidding."

"Stingy said you're dating now. I figured I'd give you a push in the right direction."

"We are on our FIRST date and you interrupted our FIRST DANCE!" Robbie complained.

"Robbie, you really need to up your romance game," Trixie scolded. "You two have already taken years!"

"You're ten," Robbie whimpered, covering his face with his hands. "Why am I being lectured on romance by a ten year old?"

"Because, you need it!"

"Trixie, please," Sportacus interrupted, softly. "Not everyone does things at the same pace. Robbie and I need to decide ourselves, when we're ready to take things further. Do you understand?"

"Oh, all right," Trixie conceded, reluctantly. "I'm sorry."

"That's okay," Sportacus assured her. "Just, please let the others know."

"Yeah, I will. I hope you enjoy your date."

"We will," Sportacus assured her, cheerfully.

"Is it over?" Robbie asked, his hands still over his face.

"Yes, it's over now," Sportacus said. "I'm sorry for that."

"It's not your fault. Kids will be kids will be brats. I mean, it's not like I need a specific number of dates, before kissing. She should have given me the benefit of the doubt!"

"Personally, I'm surprised they're so interested in our dating."

"They're kids. They love drama and snooping. Very natural."

"Mmmm," Sportacus acknowledged, moving them back into dancing position. "Poor Trixie. You didn't know what mistletoe means and I wouldn't have taken advantage of it. She usually plans things better."

"Well, she gave it her best shot. I respect that, at least."

Sportacus laughed, leading Robbie into a spin. They both relaxed, the dancing easing away any lingering tension. They danced, then ate, then danced some more. Best of all was the gift exchange. Sportacus gave Robbie a large, thick, purple and orange blanket. It was almost a quilt, with two layers. The bottom layer was orange, while the top layer was striped in two different shades of purple. The two layers were sewn together in a swirling pattern, with gold thread. Robbie got Sportacus books that combined logic puzzles and games with written narratives, forming intriguing stories.* They both were delighted.

After exchanging gifts, Sportacus talked Robbie into taking a short walk outside, promising hot chocolate after. After all, moonlight on Christmas was romantic, right? When they got to the gymnasium doors, they both stopped, then burst into laughter. Massive amounts of mistletoe, that hadn't been there earlier, were spread all across the doorway. Giggles joined them from the door leading to the dining area.

"I guess our friends decided to give it one last try!" Sportacus said, shaking his head.

"They are persistent little devils."

"I'm actually not sure what we should do."

"Well," Robbie said, hesitantly. "Um. I kinda like persistence and...you. So. I don't really mind giving them what they want. If you want to, I mean!"

"Are you sure?" Sportacus asked, softly.

"Sure. I mean, it's not like we don't know each other and you've been interested for awhile now, anyways. So. Sure."

Smiling tenderly, Sportacus took Robbie's hand, guiding him to stand underneath the mistletoe.

"Merry Christmas, Robbie," Sportacus said, leaning up to brush a gentle kiss on his lips.

Robbie didn't answer immediately, too busy returning the kiss. He sucked gently on Sportacus' lower lip, wrapping his arms around Sportacus' back. Sportacus reached up, cupping the back of Robbie's neck and holding him close. They parted after a minute or two, looking at each other in wonder.

"M-merry Christmas, Sportacus."

A loud cheer sounded across the room, as the kids rushed towards them. They all clustered around Sportacus and Robbie, hugging them tightly.

"Wow, that's awesome!" Pixel crowed. "Merry Christmas, guys, and congratulations."

"Yeah, we're so happy for you!" Stephanie agreed.

"Are you going to get married now?" Ziggy asked.

"You guys are acting like we just did!" Robbie huffed. "We might. Who knows? It won't be tonight, though, or this week. Or this month! Slow down a little, will you?"

Still laughing, the kids agreed, only reluctantly letting go.

"Well, at least you're finally off to a good start," Trixie said, approving.

"Yeah, yeah, Merry Christmas to you, too. Now, go home and go to bed!" Robbie said, rolling his eyes.

"Robbie!" Stephanie said, laughing. "The party isn't even half over. But, we'll leave you two be, now. Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas," Sportacus said to them, warmly.

They watched the kids run back to the party. Robbie gave a tired chuckle, turning and brushing another kiss across Sportacus' mouth.

"How about we turn your moonlight walk into going to my place? I have hot chocolate and popcorn. We can watch sappy Christmas movies."

"That sounds good to me," Sportacus agreed, brightly. "I love Christmas movies."

"That doesn't surprise me at all."

Laughing, they walked out, holding hands, as they went to celebrate together.

*author's note: Real life examples of Robbie's gift to Sportacus are Journal 29 by Dimitris Chassapakis and Montague Island Mysteries by R. Wayne Schmittberger.


End file.
